Category - Rants

I've reported on an ugly scandal that's rocking my church and the school associated with it. I thought it was pretty much over with until I heard that on Sunday, there were protesters when the Archbishop came to bless the new school buildings.

To most of the people analyzing the situation, the whole thing comes down to this: either Mrs. O'Leary (the former principal) stole money, or Father Gabriel (the pastor) fired her for no reason. My parents are taking Gabriel's side, but I'm not going to take sides. I don't feel sufficiently informed, and I don't like either of them enough to say that he or she "would never do that!"

No -- rather than pointing my finger at either one of them, I point at them both. Because I go to the church and went to the school, both Father Gabriel and Mrs. O'Leary have been responsible for my moral and spiritual development. And now one of them is a big liar and a hypocrite. But, neither of them is producing hard and fast evidence that the other is a crook. Gabriel won't show people the books, and O'Leary won't say anything. So, if neither of them can prove their innocence, then we must conclude that they're both big liars. It's certainly possible. And I want you to think about that. I want everyone who has ever been a part of St. Elizabeth of Hungary Catholic Church or St. Elizabeth of Hungary Catholic School to think about that. Look at the hypocrites you've been following! You have to do something. What are you going to do?

It bothers me a lot, that all of this is happening. I'm troubled and disturbed by it. But I know how I can ease my mind and resolve the situation with myself. It'll be quite simple and pleasant -- for me, anyway. In fact, I wonder how so few people have thought of it before. But now isn't the time for such things.

On Monday, the Sun-Sentinel published this article entitled "Parish Scrutiny Demanded" (subtitled "Parishioners Want Financial Books Opened"). The version on the web site had a different title, as you will read. But it's informative just the same.

And here's a pretty picture:

The Jedermann Project makes average composites of faces. They all look weird.

I guess the idea of Phoneswarm is that they pick a payphone and post the number on the Internet for everyone to call. Neat.

The following bit was inspired by Scotto, although he hasn't been doing it lately. It's a sort of "Today in History" thing regarding old posts. Though he describes his posts from one, two, three, four, and five years ago when he links to them, I figure a quotation from each post should be enough to interest you in clicking. We'll see if it's a good way to promote my large archive of posts (although it pales by comparison to Scotto's, of course). After all, they're there to be enjoyed, and I enjoy them. Without further ado...

One year ago: "He was 26 years old and was planning to propose to his girlfriend."
Two years ago: "But after all, it is Wal-Mart."

Last night my dad flagged me down and made me register for the SAT®, The Test You Have To Take™. Apparently my sister had already registered, so I had to also because we're twins and that's cute. Since she chose to take the test on January 28, I have to do that too. And since she chose to take it at Cardinal Gibbons High School, her favorite school that she's never gone to, I have to go there too. I love how I get a choice in the matter. It's great. If I have twins I'm going to give them up for adoption to different parents, or do something less humane.

The registration process was brutal. They want to know things like what classes you've taken, sports you play, your parents' level of education, whether you've had a job, your religion (yes, really), and other things I'd rather not divulge. The whole ordeal of creating an account on the site and registering for the test murdered a good half an hour, my self-respect, and $41.50.

I had been thinking about registering for the SAT for January 28, but the fact that I had no choice makes me angry. I was considering taking it later, because then I would have learned more in school and therefore done better on the test. Furthermore, I have to take the test at a school that my sister picked just because all her friends go there. I'd rather go to a school close to my house, so I wouldn't waste my precious time except for the 4 or 5 hours (yes) spent taking the test.

Anyway, I guess I should study up, because this test is going to be hard. I've taken the PSAT (Pretty Stupid Annoying Test) twice already. When I get my latest results in a few weeks, I'll have to see what my strengths and weaknesses are right now. And also, I have to practice writing essays about random topics, because that's a new section on the SAT that no one cares about even though it accounts for a third of your score.

Follow the Journey of Mankind (Flash, sound). This is very interesting stuff. It's interesting to find how they can trace back the paths of human migration using DNA and all sorts of archeological and climatological evidence.

If you've played Tetris obsessively like me, then maybe you've experienced "Tetris dreams" in which you imagine playing the game while you sleep (or, like me, just at random times). Apparently there's been at least one study looking into the phenomenon.

Homecoming Week began today with Wacky Tacky Day. Although anything goes on such a day, I mostly see people wearing the same bright colors, clashing patterns, bathing suits over their clothes, blah blah blah. In other words, they all try to do the same thing to stand out, and it gets predictable and dull. I didn't do anything special, but I plan to later on in the week.

As you may (not) remember, I had a hard time being convinced to take European History for this school year. The only reason I joined is that my World History teacher from last year, Mrs. Vazquez, was practically making me (she's teaching Euro as well, so that must be part of the reason). So I finally went for Euro without a fight and I've got accustomed to the work. During the last quarter, I even got an A in the class and an A on the exam -- unbelievable! It's a good thing she likes me.

Then she kind of started getting weird. Last month she set up the online classroom (you know, the one I thought wouldn't work). The reason, which she stated repeatedly, was, "In case anything ever happens to me, you'll still be able to do all the work. The class will be able to run without me." Last week, she dropped the bomb by saying that she "might be leaving." During that week we had a boring substitute teacher who had taught the same class up in Virginia and missed it. Can you see what this is all adding up to?

A few days ago she sent us the e-mail stating that she would be moving. I don't know to where or why, but I'd assume back to New York for family reasons. She hasn't explained it, so she probably doesn't care to. She said that this week will be her last, and from here on in, Mr. Whatever will be our teacher, but that she'll still post lectures on the online classroom. Or something like that. I don't know how we can have two teachers if one of them doesn't live in the school district. I'm assuming they've worked something out.

This has given me time to rethink continuing the class for the rest of the year. A number of students have switched out or plan to do so at the end of the semester. I may just do the same. After all, I never wanted to be in this class at all. I got persuaded by Vazquez and look what happened -- she let me down. She let all of us down because she hand-picked nearly everyone in the class. Today she said that she knew she was going to move. It was never a "might be" kind of thing -- that's why she set up the online class. She must have known before the start of the school year. And still she had us chugging along. "Napoleon by Christmas" has been her mantra for the class. Now how will it be without this kind of guidance?

I'm a bit peeved at Mrs. Vazquez. She built me up just to break me down. It must not have been her own decision to move -- perhaps it was that husband guy I've heard murky reports about. And even though I know she's going to miss us all, she knew that this was going to happen. European History isn't going to be the same without the amusing lectures, the long tangents, and the incomparably loud shouting. I'm sad and angry for both her and myself. I'll try things out with the new teacher and then reconsider whether the class is worth taking.

Apparently in the UK they use the size of Wales to measure a large area, for example: "An area of Amazon rainforest the size of Wales is cleared every year." In the US, we usually use Texas. Wikipedia has a bit more information.

How do you paint on a computer screen using real objects as your "paint"? With the I/O Brush (direct link to large Quicktime video with infectiously snappy music).

Today was picture day. They gave a notice of one school day, so if you weren't at school on Wednesday (the last day we had school), oh well for you. Hope your grandparents didn't want to buy your pictures. (Well, there are always retakes.) I, being a stupid idiot, forgot my money to order said pictures (because my parents and grandparents have to have them). I realized it right when I got to school, so I had my dad arrive with the money. He would come fairly early on his way to work.

It just so happened that I had to have my picture taken first thing in the morning. So we went down to the auditorium and I realized that they would still take my picture even if I wasn't ordering prints. But I wasn't sure what to do. My friend Jarian was in the same situation: his money was on the way and couldn't get there fast enough. I thought I could have my picture taken then and give them the money within an hour, but the photographer people said that they had to take the order at the same time as taking the picture. On top of that, the teacher overseeing everything said that we had to have our pictures taken while the rest of our class was there. So the only solution seemed to be having our picture taken twice. I got a notice to go to the office shortly after returning from having my picture taken. They had my money there, so I went back and had my picture taken again.

Normally the title of the post has to do with what I write about first, but since I thought that what I will write about now is also important, and that it's a point that needs to be stressed to anyone that can read bold print, I made it the title.

I had been warming up to my European history class and basically getting a handle on the work involved. But lately the trend has been for classes to embrace "technology" by going online. And that's exactly what Mrs. Vazquez is doing with this class of mine. All lectures will be online, assignments will be given online, and those assignments will be collected online. That old sickening feeling is coming back to me because online classes don't work.

She created a sort of virtual classroom thing at this site, but the design is so dull that it's hard to tell what is what. You need to jump through hoops to send in a message -- and I don't think they take attachments, so you just have to copy and paste your nice essay into a textarea. Plus, Mrs. Vazquez's writing style is too close to that of some students. She ignores capitalization and punctuation and apparently doesn't check what she writes, as she often makes flagrant typos and factual errors that simply confuse everyone. (Maybe that's why she's no longer qualified to teach English.)

As for online classes in general: I've taken one, and so I know that they are nothing like the classroom experience. To truly learn, you have to have a teacher speak to you and answer your questions using helpful hints like... tone of voice... to get her message across. In an online class, you're trying to learn by reading pixels, and if you don't know something, a teacher can't answer you right away. Your homework and notes aren't tangible. Your teacher isn't tangible either; she's just represented by her words (however well-punctuated they may be). In fact, she doesn't even need to be there, as Mrs. Vazquez has stated many times when talking about this new system. She doesn't need to be there at all. And she wonders why she gets paid like it...

This move to the Internet is supposed to be a time saver. The logic is this: instead of doing our classwork (taking notes and other stuff) during class and doing our homework (reading stuff and answering questions) at home, we'll do our homework during class and our classwork at home. Tell me how this saves time. I think it actually wastes time, because we won't have access to computers during class every day (today, for example). In those cases we'll have to write our homework during class in order to type it later. In other words, time is lost. I certainly don't want to turn things upside-down, doing the reinforcing during the day when I should be learning and learning new material when I'm tired from a long day and want nothing more in the world than to relax.

Personally, I believe that due to the poor design and questionable usability of the web site, I am going to miss notifications of upcoming assignments, which is going to bring my grade down from the A that I've busted my ass for. More importantly, by ceasing to learn things in this class, I'm going to do worse on the final exam that determines whether you get college credit for the class. I'm ashamed of Mrs. Vazquez for making this decision that really only makes things easier for her and harder for the students she's trying to have succeed.

Look, up in the sky! It's the Floating Logos Project, one of those weird art projects you more than occasionally find on the web.

New York Changing: photos of New York City from then and now. It's amazing to see how some things have changed so much and how others have stayed the same.

In August the news broke that Mrs. O'Leary, the principal of my old school (a Catholic school), quit due to allegations that she stole money. Controversy started buzzing and eventually it seemed that people sided with either Mrs. O'Leary, or the pastor of the adjoining church, Father Gabriel, who allegedly had a hand in getting rid of her. Many people never liked Mrs. O'Leary and many others never liked Fr. Gabriel, so you can imagine how this broke out. Some people said that Fr. Gabriel (a Cuban-American) got rid of Mrs. O'Leary and replaced her with a Hispanic so that he could turn the church into a Hispanic parish. Others really do believe that Mrs. O'Leary stole money. The tension seems to have been building, even though things were never directly addressed, but rather whispered.

Today there was a huge crowd of people at church like it was Christmas Eve or Easter or something. It turned out that a representative of the Archdiocese of Miami was going to talk about what had happened. Just before the final blessing, but after all the other announcements, he went up and read a statement to the crowd from the Archdiocese supporting Fr. Gabriel and telling him to set up some financial committee to oversee things or something like that. Then this other guy came up from the crowd and started attacking Fr. Gabriel's policies. The representative, himself a pastor of another church, went up to the man to try to get him to stop, but some people shouted, "Let him speak!" But then people started getting up and going to leave, including my parents. I was shocked at this completely rude thing. I said to my parents, who are always nagging at me to be polite, "Well, I think that was an extremely impolite thing to do, don't you?" My mom said, "Well, you don't want to hear him, do you?" It seemed that about half the people in the church simply walked out -- before the final blessing in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

As we were going out, the man kept speaking, and I had never felt so angry in my entire life. Pure rage seemed to run through my veins, just over the stupidity of it all. I had to restrain myself from shouting about what I felt. What do I feel about this? I feel it's stupid. The whole thing. Everyone's a hypocrite: the Gabriel people and the O'Leary people alike. It's all so political. The thing they should be focusing on is worship, but apparently that gets lost in all the pomp and politics of church affairs. I'm still angry that things came to this -- the adrenaline hasn't gone away -- and I don't support either side.

Here's a bullet piercing a bubble.

A visit to Adobe, the people who bring you software such as Photoshop. It's interesting to see faces being put to those names on the Photoshop splash screens.

Hello, my fellow teenage readers, many of whom I know as personal friends. Do you...

• ...have a cell phone?
• ...have a job?
• ...drive?
• ...have an MP3 player?
• ...have a significant other?
• ...exercise?
• ...have a TV in your room?
• ...have any extracurricular activities?
• ...have career goals?

If you answered no to all of these questions, you are Jordon Kalilich, World's Biggest Slacker! I am the loser's loser. Not one of you can compare to me.

I was just contemplating things the other day. It started when I asked myself, why do I buy 45s instead of getting iTunes? Well, I figured, if I get iTunes, I'll buy songs compulsively (one doesn't have to worry about shipping, you know), and I really don't have the kind of income to support that. I get $5 a week for allowance and that's it, 'cause I have no job. Also, if I ever get a girlfriend, I'll have to spend a lot of money on her, and since I make a negligible amount of money, I'd eventually run out. Likewise, why don't I have a cell phone? No money!

So, why don't I have a job, so I can make money? I've expressed interest in looking for one, but I haven't actually done it yet. I guess I'm lazy. But I think I'm also afraid of working, probably because my New Year's gift from my longtime weekend job was a permanent vacation. I'm afraid of working for a large company again because then everything's all official and I have to pay taxes and things of that nature. Also, if I get another job, my parents say I have to walk there myself.

So, why don't I just drive there, you might ask if you don't know me? Well, I can't drive a car. I don't even have my learner's permit. I haven't even taken the steps to getting my learner's permit! So why haven't I done that? Well, I don't know. I'm lazy (again with the laziness). Also, I think the 'rents have mentioned something like I'll have to pay for my own insurance once I get my license (or at least that they will not). And here, my friends, is where the vicious cycle ensues. Who's to blame?

Some are born slackers, some achieve slackerdom, and some have slackerdom thrust upon them. It's true that I've always been lazy, but suffice it to say that I don't think it's 100% my fault that I'm mired in this situation. Seriously, the only thing I have going for me are my grades in school. Other than that, I'm not that good of a person in any context. I don't even trust in my ability to listen to and follow directions. It took me years to learn the Macarena.

How will I be prepared to function like a normal member of society if I don't function like a normal teenager? When I was little I would ask my parents if I could have a TV in my room like the other kids. "Not until you're 14," they would say. Well, I'm 16 now, and I'm still waiting while they deny they ever said it. It's not essential to life, but at the very least it's a peeve and something my friends might make fun of me for.

As time passes, I'm getting to be an old person. I started this blog two years ago. In less than two years I'll presumably be in college -- wherever that may be. Frankly, if I was afraid of going into high school (and I was, as a stroll through August 2003 will tell you), I would be absolutely terrified of going to college. And I am. I'm not ready, but here people are telling me about taking the SAT and picking what college I want to go to.

All in all, life is a bunch of sucky experiences with a few good things thrown in so it doesn't totally depress you. But it only gets worse as you trudge along. In short, growing up blows. I would give my life to save every kid from ever growing up. I would. No one deserves to undertake the misery of living.

But I'm interested... teenagers, or anybody: go back to the beginning of the post and leave a comment with your answers to the questions.

Speaking of stupid things (no, not you), read some Computer Stupidities: tales of people who just don't get computers. Somewhat less entertaining (because you've probably gotten all of them in your e-mail inbox at one time or another) are the more generic Things People Said.

Okay, so we all have been here long enough to know that there was this girl I was trying to woo. "Was" is the operative word here. After some thought about what we have in common (nothing), and when I'd possibly be able to see her (never), I can only conclude that this can never and will never be. I'm socially inept and I cannot break into her close circle of friends, let alone try to romance her. But the main thing that set this off is that she's in love with someone else, according to her LiveJournal.

And that date we were supposed to go on? The one that got rescheduled and so forth? I'm sure she had no idea that it was a date. I'm positive beyond any doubt. She didn't expect that of me because that's not what she wants to hear. She doesn't want to go out with me. Who would? To her it would have been a friendly outing like with all her other friends.

To straighten things out for all of you, we never went out and we were never a couple. Really.

Like I said, we have nothing in common. Music is considered the common ground by which people relate to each other. I told her what I was listening to, and she said "that's not music." I told her what I hated, and she said that's what she liked. So there you go.

I don't want to be an idiot. So I will no longer actively communicate with her in any way. I'm not going to initiate any conversation, but she can talk to me if she wants.

But as for you, don't talk to me about it. And don't tell her, because I think she doesn't know.

And you know what? If I were to ask her if she liked me, I know EXACTLY what she'd say. "I like you as a friend." And that means she doesn't like me. So this shouldn't be a problem for anybody (except me, but what do I matter?).

So goodbye to you. Boom, you're off my buddy list. And your number is off my wall. What was I thinking to put it there?

When people are in love, they're perfect each other, but since I don't fit a mold -- since I don't devote my life to a store, a sport, or a genre of music -- no one can possibly be perfect for me. Oh wait, there is this other girl, who's given me butterflies every time I've seen her since I met her two years ago but she's out of my league, as I say too much. Dumb jocks are her type. Besides, I used to think we'd go nicely together, but now I can't picture it.

But that's another rant for another week.

It's been a tough question deciding when I actually started to blog. I consider today, August 4, the anniversary of the day I began blogging. I had been posting about updates to the site since it began in April 2003, and in July I asked "To blog or not to blog?" and answered in the negative. But in the next post I declared that "I've decided I'm going to go ahead with it anyway. Soon." The post after that, on August 4, 2003, wasn't really different from the others, but in it I did refer to the site as "a blog-type thing." So there you go. August 4, 2003.

You surely have heard about that recently-unveiled Japanese robot that looks oh-so realistic. According to that article, one of the scientists who made it "says one day robots could fool us into believing they are human."

Oh, those androids. They will improve our lives, the scientists say. They will do the things we don't want to do ourselves, like... make a sandwich. Or... change the channel when the remote's broken. We'll live happily ever after. Right?

We can't go wasting our time making robots. Eventually, as this guy says, robots will be so realistic that we'll be hard-pressed to tell them from real humans. And then what? Then we'll have sacks of sprockets running around masquerading as actual people. What if you take a robot home from the bar? What if a robot runs for President? Don't we have enough people already?

Worst of all, with more realistic robots come smarter robots. The robots of ten years ago can hardly compare to today's android. Imagine how intelligent robots will be in 2015. And 2025. And 2035. Eventually, we're going to make them smarter than ourselves, or at least able to become so.

What I'm getting at here is that by wasting our time with this robot stuff, we're basically planning the demise of humankind. Eventually the robots will take over, kill us all, and multiply. And I can't be the only one who believes this.

What part of Ask Jordon don't you understand?

Tom: My new house in Buffalo is almost done being built and we need help moving. Can I count you in?

Umm... sure. As long as you let me live in the basement. That would be fun. We don't have them here. Four cool points to basements.

debbie: what is the name of the airport in jordon

What do you think Ask Jordon is? Do you think you're asking questions to an entire Middle Eastern country? Why don't you just Google it? I'm sure there's more than one airport in the nation of Jordan, anyway.

Years ago, I remember watching "Figure It Out," a sort of game show where panelists had to guess a person's talent by receiving various clues. One boy that I particularly remember was able to give the day of the week for any given date. I always wondered how he did that.

Then I found this site with a mathematical formula for determining the day of the week for a given Gregorian date. Last month, when I first found the site, I just barely managed to succeed in memorizing the formula. (Hey, I needed something to do while we were waiting in line for Dueling Dragons.) I also wrote a computer program that uses it. But I'll have to re-commit the formula to memory and practice my mental math, because it sure is a killer party trick.

On this day in 1989, I was born.

You know, I usually say that I don't care much about my birthday, but it's actually kind of nice that people care about you for a day. I think everybody should celebrate their birthday. Those who don't will have no suitable outlet for their egos.

I'd like to take this opportunity to wish my "evil twin" Eric a happy birthday as well.

How will I spend my birthday? I'm going to my grandmother's house for dinner, where we'll have roast beef -- mmm, my favorite* -- among other things.

So, I'm actually 16. Sixteen years old. That means if I had gotten my learner's permit a year ago, I could get my driver's license now. I could. If I had. But you know what? I don't want or need to drive car. Not at this point. I have nowhere to go. There's no point in wasting my time. So what if all my friends can drive? I could always take the bus, maybe*. At the very least, I need to get some form of ID. That way people will know I exist and that I'm not an alien from outer space or something.

I'm 16, and I've never been on a freaking date. People enter a state of awe if they can pry this fact out of me, making me all sorts of promises that "someone will come along." I don't know why they're so surprised. Surely with my charm*, money*, wit, and chin*, someone should at the least find me more than just "a nice guy." But you know what? I don't want or... wait, that doesn't work. I need it.

Well, that's enough self-deprecating for one day. I'm outta here.

*not

Hey, happy Fourth of July (Independence Day). On this day in 1776, the United States officially declared independence from Great Britain. We celebrate this day with fireworks, barbecues, parades, picnics, and going to the beach (if one happens to be handy). To avoid sounding even more like a cheesy informational video, I'll just throw out some relevant links.

So what does the President do on the Fourth of July? Find out.

Download an MP3 or WMA of the national anthem, "The Star-Spangled Banner," performed masterfully by the Penfield Symphony Orchestra of Penfield, New York.

I think "The Star-Spangled Banner" is best left to orchestras, as it is notoriously difficult to sing, covering an octave-and-a-half range. Not to mention that the latest trend is to inject "soul" into the 19th-century ballad. At a baseball game or whatever, instead of ending the way it should:

You're more likely to hear it sung like this:

That right there is perhaps the most compelling argument to get the national anthem changed. No one wants to sing it straight anymore. Does any other country butcher its national anthem so?

Last year and the year before, I spent the Fourth of July at my great-aunt's condo. On the penthouse floor (and, the first year, on the roof) we could see fireworks shows all around (except in the direction of the ocean, of course). I think I counted at least 10 to 15 going on at once. It was truly spectacular.

Anyway, this is my first Fourth at home in several years. Some relatives are coming over tonight and we're having a barbecue. There should be plenty of fireworks, because people started shooting them off a few nights ago.