Category - Ask Jordon

The Ask Jordon mailbag has been getting heavy over the past few weeks, so let's bust it open and see what we've got. It's time for an Ask Jordon Extravaganza.

Johnathan: Why did britney Spears shave her head bald?

This question arrived a few weeks ago, almost immediately after the big story broke. In fact, I got this e-mail even before my sister, who actually cares about what happens to famous people, found out that Britney Spears had shorn her locks. But, to answer your question, Jonathan, I'd say the answer is either "For attention" or "Who cares?"

Natasha Dean: Will i ever go out with jordan thundow

Another interesting one, considering this site already has a Natasha/Jordon thing going on. Nevertheless, this user comes from the UK, so it's not my friend Natasha in some clever disguise.

Well, other Natasha, I don't know this Jordan Thundow you speak of, so I can't say for sure, but if you want a guy to go out with you, my best advice is to be direct. The reason my best advice sounds really bad and vague is because I have no experience in this field. Anyway, glad I could help. Next.

Wilhelm T. Grate: What can you tell me about paint thinner and thinning paint and whatnot?

Well, my friend Luke, I know very little about thinning paint. I assume you'd want to thin paint in order to chip it off or something, and in order to do that, it would be good to use paint thinner because you can be fairly certain that it is actually for thinning paint. Paint thinner is highly flammable, and it probably smells bad. That's all I can tell you.

Peter: Three questions. Get ready. PS: This is not a question.

Okay.

Peter: Will you continue blogging when you're in college?

As far as I can tell, yes. Just as I blogged to inform and entertain readers about the strange new experiences of high school almost four years ago, I think it'll be fun and interesting to keep it up as I undertake the biggest thing that will ever have happened to me in my whole entire life.

Peter: C^i vi povias korekti la mia mala demando en Esperanto?

Jes, certe. Oni dirus "Ĉu vi povas ĝustigi mian malbonan demandon en Esperanto?" Vidu, ke mi uzis la akuzativon. Estas ofta eraro forlasi ĝin, sed ne forgesu. Fakte, post iom da tempo, vi verŝajne memoros bone, kaj ne plaĉos al vi la sono de ĝia misuzo.

Peter: Can you tell me what the other question I was going to ask you, because I forgot?

No, I don't know what it was. Do you remember it now?

Wilhelm T. Grate: Is the Game of Life an application of fuzzy logic or just regular logic?

Well, Luke, it seems to be smooth rather than fuzzy, so I'd say it's just regular type. Incidentally, Xlife blows my implementation of Life out of the water.

Political interference in science is not a good thing. Here's an A to Z guide of examples of this phenomenon.

One of those cheesy articles that might actually be helpful: 10 Things You Shouldn't Buy New.

After nearly two months of delays, the long-awaited sequel to Beowulf: The Movie is almost ready for prime time. Most of the footage was shot at my house one day in December, but we used two cameras: mine and Justin's. Since I couldn't transfer the videos on Justin's camera to my computer, he was going to have to burn them onto a CD for me. Early this week, he gave me the CD, and so we finished up a few shots we had intended to shoot. The shooting is almost complete. The only thing left in the way of that is a scene or two that I'm doing by myself (I'll be reprising my terrible role as the cheesy narrator guy.)

I forgot how tough editing video can be, but when I look at the finished product, I know it's immensely satisfying. I should probably use this space to show my gratitude toward a certain Kevin MacLeod, whose extensive portfolio of quality royalty-free music helped make Beowulf: The Movie more than just an English class project. I'll be using his music as a source once again. Maybe, since I'll be giving him a proper attribution this time, I'll actually tell him about this one. And, as promised, there will be an original song in Beowulf 2. I know you're excited, but you'll just have to wait a little longer.

Speaking of Justin, he emceed the school's variety show on Thursday night. It was the same show I auditioned for back in September. I could have followed through and gone to the many subsequent rehearsals, but I think the criticism was enough to put me in my place. Anyway, the show was better without me, and it was quite a bit of fun. Unfortunately, Justin seemed to get upstaged by his co-emcee, but it was still enjoyable to watch him onstage.

Although its name is fun to write, I've gotten bored of doing Jordon Asks YOU!!. (I'm surprised it took me this long, actually.) I might resurrect it sometime, but there will always be Ask Jordon.

Kelsey: Where should I go to college? Where I dream of(WFU) or where it is free(UF)?

I'm supposed to say that you should go where you dream of going, but that's not always possible. Financial considerations are a big factor for many people, myself included. In spite of that, everybody's situation is different, and advice that works for me might not work well for you. So I'd have to say that you'll need to decide for yourself. I know it's hard, but you have time. Use it wisely.

mambala: what does my name mean?

Isn't that like some game that was popular in the '90s? No, wait, that was mancala. Well, it was a long time ago. It must have been when I was six or seven or eight when that game was popular. I never understood it. Maybe that's because I never played it. I think only girls would play it because it involved pretty-looking fake stones. But I'm not really sure. The point is, I never played it with anybody, although I did somehow manage to get a faint idea of the object of the game. It doesn't seem too terribly complicated, after all. In fact, it kind of superficially reminds me of backgammon, which is a game that I actually used to play, but which I've now forgotten. I wouldn't mind getting back into the swing of that one, though. Anyway, to answer your question: no, I've never played mancala.

Congress has just voted to raise the federal minimum wage, which has been $5.15 per hour since 1997. However, it's not a universal figure -- it's only a minimum, after all. The states are free to legislate a higher minimum wage, and Florida's is currently $6.67. Check out the State of the Minimum Wage (Flash) to see how the states' minimum wages have compared in recent years.

Here's a Super Mario Brothers race (Google Video), apparently from a school talent show (which, if true, would make it the most awesome talent show act ever). It's mind-boggling to think that you can beat the game in just over six minutes.

Today I'm going to the skate park with Sean, Nick, and Mike. We went a few years ago, and it was fun, even though my parents made me sit it out. (Something about life insurance.) Anyway, apparently I'm covered now, so I can go and break my bones as I please. I tried to get on a skateboard once, some years ago, and I almost fell off immediately. I hope somebody has some pads and stuff I can borrow. I really, really, really don't want to get hurt, and I would rather sit on the sidelines than risk it. But as long as I come home in good shape, it will have been fun.

It's good to have a little Ask Jordon every now and then.

Peter: Where are some good places to practice Esperanto? / How do you practice Esperanto?

I've been getting a bit rusty myself. I (used to) keep tabs on the news site and portal Ĝangalo, but the last news item they've posted is from last month, and it says that the site has been sold by its creator. I also used to listen to Ĉi Tie Nun, a quirky Esperanto podcast that covers strange news stories from around the world, but the guy who runs that has only come out with two shows in the past six months. Those won't help you too much, I guess, but you can always read old news articles and listen to old podcasts.

Another good resource might be to read some Esperanto magazines. Last year I had a subscription to La Ondo de Esperanto, a magazine published in Russia that has news, reviews, literature, and so forth, but the subscription was pretty expensive (especially when I think you can read the issues online for free). You can't really blame me for falling out of practice, now, can you? Well, the big thing was that I had no one to practice it with, so I've been getting kind of bored. I'd say that the best way to practice is to have people to talk to (in person, online, or both). Maybe we could have some conversations together.

Pope Jolly Wilkins: What is the Firefox extension that finds the pages you will click onto in the future and caches them?

That feature is called pipelining, and it's built into Firefox. Go to about:config and set network.http.pipelining and network.http.proxy.pipelining to "true." It might also help to set the maximum number of connections per server and so forth. These preferences are also found in about:config, but I manage all this stuff with the Tweak Network Settings extension. (Here's its AMO page.)

Pope Jolly Wilkins: Also: why do boomer-folk like to say "Foxfire" instead of "Firefox"?

Boomer-folk have heard of Firefox? I thought they equated the Internet with the Big Blue E. Anyway, why do they screw up anything? It's because they're old, and their minds work in reverse or something. How many times did we have to hear "Pokey-man"?

Here's a gallery of World War II pictures in color. There are some videos too.

Watch some outtakes and goof-ups from the golden days of TV.

It's time for another installment of Jordon Asks YOU!!.

Jordon Asks YOU!!: Have you made any New Year's resolutions, and if so, have you kept them? Post a comment and let me know.

Well, Thanksgiving is around the corner, and you know what that means: It's time to feed the homeless! I got roped into doing some volunteer work today. I really didn't want to wake up at 6:15 on a Saturday to do it. You have no idea. It's 5:30 on school days and 6:30 for work. And even when I can stay up late, I always wake up early. Saturdays are mine... unless I have to help distribute frozen turkeys in the tri-county area. I really didn't want to do it. That makes me a bad person.

Anyway, KFC donated 200 frozen turkeys to the cause, so the first thing we had to do was go and get them. They were conveniently located in a small warehouse in West Palm Beach, so we had to go up there and get them. From then we moved to points south, distributing turkeys here and there, and also picking up some boxes of food and stuff that had been made specifically for certain needy families. Then those boxes had to be delivered to Miami, so by that time, I actually felt like going along. After all, I had never been to West Palm Beach and Miami in the same day before.

After that, I hung out with Mark for a bit. He gave me back some of the CDs that I lent him from our band practice of April 18, 2004. I'd been getting on him about it for months now. Nine hundred and forty-four (944) days later, he gives two out of three back, which I'd say is not bad for him. Incidentally, my CDs were held captive for 500 days longer than the Iran hostage crisis. However, while all of the American hostages returned alive, two out of three of my CDs emerged unscathed.

Well, besides Thanksgiving, the other noteworthy things that happen in mid-to-late November are my friend Michelle's birthday and the Leonid meteor shower. I've never seen the Leonids (or any meteor shower, for that matter), although I have tried. Five years ago, I went camping with my friend Sean around Leonid time, and I was hoping to catch a glimpse of the meteors, but I couldn't. I think it was too cloudy, and I was too tired, and the smoke from the campfire was making me sneeze too much. It was probably too cold also.

It's also cold tonight, but the sky is as clear as a bell (except for all the light pollution, but whatever). The meteor shower is supposed to peak later tonight, so maybe I'll actually see some. I'm glad that the Leonids aren't peaking on a school night this year. You won't escape me this year, Leonids! Actually, you probably will, considering how much light pollution there is in my general area, but... we'll see, won't we? I'll probably come back inside frustrating and freezing, but Leonids, I will see you. Well, I'll try, anyway. Okay, that's enough.

A little Ask Jordon never hurt anybody.

Peter: Do you realize that, according to Alexa, your traffic is falling somewhat rapidly? Why do you think this happened, and what could you do to stop it?

Yes, I did realize that, actually, but it doesn't worry me that much. The only reason I can think of that makes sense is that I haven't been posting as much as I could be (though I am posting as much as I can, if that makes sense). Or maybe it's just that people who download the Alexa toolbar are increasingly tending not to be the sort of people who visit my site. Who knows?

If I wanted to gain more traffic, which I suppose I do (even though I don't care about it as much as I used to), I would probably try increasing my links to other sites and maybe write a post that would make the front pages of Slashdot, Digg, Fark, Metafilter, and all the sites of that sort. I tend to link to a lot of top lists of things that are ranked by certain people who seem to know what they're talking about. In fact, checking my list of sites that I plan to link to in forthcoming posts, 3 of the 14 pages are countdowns of some kind. Maybe I could write the Top Ten Reasons People Should Visit The World of Stuff. That'll get 'em.

Check out The Illustrated Beowulf, a condensed version of the timeless Old English epic, featuring Bill Clinton as Beowulf, Danish Prime Minister Poul Nyrup Rasmussen and Pope John Paul II as Hrothgar, and Cookie Monster as Grendel, among others. But, as always, be sure to watch Beowulf: The Movie, starring my friends and me.

Speaking of astronomy: What is the Hubble Deep Field, and why is it the most important image ever taken? Find out (YouTube).

One year ago: "By the way, I don't want to die alone."
Two years ago: "What might be even more crazy than Mr. McDonald having been a Major League Baseball player is that no one ever bothered to tell me."

Previously I linked to Movietally, a site that combines cinematic appreciation with the principles of Web 2.0. Because people have said to me, "What do you mean you haven't seen that movie?" about a million times, I decided to sign up. As a registered user, you can tag movies, create a "to see" list, and view recommendations based on what movies you like. My "to see" list effectively replaces a similar list that I used to keep on paper after hearing the above line so often.

Apparently the site was created by a fifteen-year-old in one month, and viewed in that light, it's really not that bad. It's missing some important things, like the ability to distinguish between different movies of the same title, but that really isn't much of an issue right now because there aren't that many users on the site anyway. Because Web 2.0 is based on interactivity and a big user community, a lack of users is a fundamental flaw of all new Web 2.0 sites. But it's one I'm hoping to change as I add and tag more movies that I've seen.

Now I'm not exactly a big movie buff, but I like the "to see" list because there are so many movies that I need to see, and the recommendations are great because I'll never have to leave Blockbuster empty-handed again. Movietally really has potential to become a widely useful site. Maybe you could help out by joining and building a list of movies you've seen.

And now for something completely different.

answer or die jk: this is not a stupid or rude question and i actually want to no the purpose of this site because its cool and i think there should be more like it

I think there should be more like it too, Answer. The great thing about this site is that it doesn't really have a point. It's just a big pile of vanity. It's my blog, and it's my weird pages of random things. It's all me. This site is saying, "Hey, Internet! Hey, world! I exist!" Apart from attracting a seemingly disproportionate number of Canadian readers, the world hasn't really said much besides making vague references to poker and pharmacies. But it's incredibly fun to write a blog and publish your own junk on the Web.

Peter: How did you get all the links on your blogroll?

Let's go through them one by one and find out.

• Adventures with YardBoy: YardBoy and I used to be big-time members of the Where's George? community.
• Alka Dwivedi: Happens to link to YardBoy, so I figured, why not ask for a link exchange?
• ChaosZone: Same as above, but I've realized that it's a silly reason to trade links. I'll probably remove these three links soon.
• Chewbonkers: The ever-moving blog of longtime reader Todd Chan. I follow it regularly. (Ha... get it?)
• Greatplay.net: The site of yet another WoS reader named Peter. I'm assuming this is you.
• Greatplay.net Blog: Your blog? I also read it on a regular basis.
• idly.org: The only site I could get to link to the then-new but long-gone WoS page The Bill Factor Project. I promised to link back in return for the favor. He still has a link to me, though it appears (or doesn't appear) in the blogroll randomly.
• mcgees.org: Another user from Where's George?. Also made a fun little utility based on Ultimate Cool Characters at one time.
• Nothing Important: Another WoS reader. Also the only site I've ever written a guest post for. I charge a low appearance fee, guys!
• One More Blog: Yet another reader, one who shares some interests with me and who used to live nearby.
• Pompano Pulse: My school paper, in which my friend Luke plays a big part. I check for updates regularly, of course.
• Scotto's Wall Scrawls: Another local blog and a longtime reader whose blog I also read regularly. It's fun to look at his pictures of the everyday sights that I see.
• theworldofstuff.net: Apparently the original World of Stuff, though I didn't know that when I called the site an "impostor." We're cool now, though.

Yes, it appears that my blogroll is a bit stale and out of date. That is, it has some sites that I hardly visit. I should try exchanging links with blogs I actually read. Thanks for reminding me. By the way, do any other readers want to trade links?

Love that Tech-no-lo-gy™: Here's a demonstration of software that turns a 2-D image into 3-D (YouTube).

Hear Alvin and the Chipmunks slowed down (also: what a cricket probably sounds like to itself).

One year ago: "But I should fondly remember that for about five days, I was #1 due to some kind of error."
Two years ago: "Another favorite of mine is actually being able to send an e-mail by clicking on an e-mail link!"
Three years ago: "If you are lucky enough to own one, you are a face in the crowd."

It's exam week here at Pompano Beach High School, and that means we have two days where we just take tests and go home. Usually those two days are consecutive, but this time around, they're Tuesday (today) and Thursday. That's because tomorrow they have to give the PSAT for the sophomores and juniors to take. You know what that means: even more time wasted. Well, it's wasted for us, anyway. The general consensus among the seniors is that tomorrow is a "senior skip day." But I'm not participating. Even if I were allowed to, I wouldn't skip. I'm sure Mr. Gates will be covering new things in Calculus, anyway, and I won't want to miss that. Besides, I've never missed a day of high school, and why should I start now? (Nerd.)

But anyway, my exams for American Government and Calculus were today, so we did some reviewing in those classes yesterday. My American Government teacher just handed out a study guide with a series of numbered statements that read suspiciously like the answer key to the test. There were even some essay topics at the end. In Mr. Gates's class, we spent most of the time going over previous homework, but toward the end of class, he asked if we wanted to know what kind of stuff would be on the test. So we asked him what would be on the test, and he said that pretty much everything we've studied would be on the test.

So the exams for those two classes were today. Government was a piece of cake. Calculus was a bit more challenging. I had recognized some of the problems from previous tests, but they were still somewhat hard to do. Surprisingly, I made it to the end of the test with time to spare, and I had only skipped a few questions, so I started going back to those. I left about three unanswered by the time we had to leave, so that's not bad, overall. There is a chance I could get an A, but I'll be happy to get a B. I have a B in the class this semester -- worst grade ever -- but I'm not making a fuss or anything. I've just got to try harder next time.

How about a quick Ask Jordon.

Alfonso: Do you think your pessimistic or cynical, or do you just like to complain about everything in your life?

If you had read maybe two posts that I've written, you'd know that I don't complain about everything in my life and that I don't like to complain about anything. I try not to be pessimistic or cynical, but I am sometimes, as we all are. At least I don't presumptuously ask loaded questions to people I don't know.

You know, that may be the first rude Ask Jordon question I've ever gotten (though I can't be bothered to search the archives). Fortunately, the overwhelming majority of questions are either interesting or completely stupid (that is, amusing). Actually, I don't like the stupid ones either. You know, where people ask me questions that a 4th-grader would find funny, or when people think I'm Michael Jordan or the entire country of Jordan. For the record, I am neither.

Buying something online and want to be able to visualize how big it is in real life? Sizeasy can help.

Indexed is a blog that features humorous graphs drawn on index cards.

One year ago: "Hope your grandparents didn't want to buy your pictures."
Three years ago: "The photos were printed in that year's yearbook."

Our top story on this four-day weekend: Part one of science project due Tuesday. That includes five pages of research, a bibliography, a hypothesis, and probably something else. After much stress, I decided to go along with my original idea of expounding on the project I did last year. Although running an electric current through salt water and varying the compositions of the electrodes doesn't sound like a blast, it's good that I have a solid foundation to work on rather than starting a whole new project from scratch. Can I get away with reusing some of my original research? I believe I can. I have three pages of it, and I need a total of five, so it shouldn't be that much of a problem. I just need to figure out a good hypothesis. Which metals will make the best electrodes? I don't know!

For the research part, 5 of my 10-15 sources have to be books, so I went to the library today. I knew that I had used some books for my original research, so I only looked for a few books. As it turned out, a few were all they had. Come on, guys. Chemistry is the "central science," and you only have two books about it? I checked out them both. Then I went home and found out that I had only used one book in my original report, so it was time to hit the other local library. They had a whole three books on chemistry, although one was more about alchemy and the other was a book of simple, simple experiments for kids (think vinegar-and-baking-soda volcanoes). So I checked out the other book.

In order to have five book sources, I needed one more book. It was time to hit the reference section. I managed to find a book with a few pages of information on electrical conductivity and stuff like that, so we managed to run off some copies of those pages. And now here I am. I guess I'll only have to write two pages, but coming up with a suitable hypothesis might be a little more difficult. I don't really know what sorts of metals would carry the electricity better. Maybe they'd all do equally well? No, that sounds unlikely. Oh well. I'll have a few days to figure it out. It is a guess, anyway.

Also this weekend: I have to study for Tuesday's test on the muscular system in Anatomy and Physiology. I need to memorize the names of a bunch of muscles, as well as being able to explain the structure of a muscle, among other things. Also on Tuesday, I have a test on a bunch of stuff in Calculus. Tests are 95% of the grade in that class, and they're pretty tough. I almost had an A in the class until I bombed the last test, giving me a solid B. It's going to be impossible to raise my grade to an A before the end of the quarter, so I just have to work on keeping my B. I think I also have a vocabulary quiz in English on Tuesday, but that's nothing.

Here's a little Ask Jordon to brighten your day.

Luke: How many candles were on Google's 8th birthday cake?

I did notice that the cupcake in Google's logo didn't have eight candles. I think there were five or six.

sean: So what did you think of Jackass Number Two? (Which, awesomely yet strangely enough, has been given two thumbs up by Ebert and Roeper)

The movie was funny, and I'd probably see it again, even though I'll never think about horses the same way. That's really weird that Ebert and Roeper gave it two thumbs up. What made Ebert like it more than the first Jackass, which he panned?

Have a lot of huge pictures from your digital camera that you want to get online? Sometimes the only thing you need to do is resize an image before it's ready to go. ResizR is an online tool that makes that job a little easier.

If you're obsessed with Wikipedia, take the extremely long Are You a Wikipediholic Test. My score is a pithy 297.738126131719, so I have "a well-balanced attitude that may benefit by spending more time on Wikipedia."

One year ago: "Gee, you must be wondering to yourself, I bet Jordon's busy. Wrongo."
Two years ago: "Every week I'm being driven into the ground by work, work, work. It just won't let up."
Three years ago: "Seeing as it's an online petition, it won't count for much, but it makes for a good symbolic gesture."

On Wednesday I started coming down with a cold. I figured I could sleep it away, but that didn't work. I woke up at around 1:00 in the morning and had to go and blow my nose a few times. At about 2:00, I put on a heavy comforter and tried to go back to sleep. And hey, then it was time for school! Luckily, as I said, it was a short day, and we got out before noon. Since I was feeling under the weather, I didn't really do anything productive. I took a shower, and later, I did something I haven't done in a really long time: I took a hot bath. I didn't fill the tub up all the way, but it was still kind of nice. But it's scary how much I'm thinking of calculus. While I was filling the irregularly-shaped tub with water, I realized that it would take longer and longer to fill up the tub if it got slightly wider. But that's common sense? Anyway, before going to bed early, I took my temperature and it was normal, but I still felt bad.

I wasn't sure if I would be well enough to go to work today, but I was, and it was worth it, too, as I was reminded. Today I got my first paycheck since getting back to the job. And the great thing is that they've spelled my name right this time. I had to fill out an application again, so this time I made absolutely sure that they would spell my name "Jordon" and not "Jordan." Work was pretty good, and I managed to survive, although I did sneeze a lot. They asked if I wanted to go home early, and I said no. It got better once I turned the air conditioning up. (I used to wonder why turning the air conditioning "up" would make it warmer. I thought "up" and "down" related to intensity rather than temperature. I guess it's more convenient to think of it as climate control.)

Anyway, I worked, and now I'm here. I might go and see Jackass: Number Two with Sean and Mike tonight, but it's not definite. I probably wouldn't go to see it if Sean hadn't invited me, but I'll admit that I do find that kind of stuff funny in a way. And tomorrow, I'll be all better, hopefully. I'm mostly better now, but past experience suggests that my cold will probably linger for another day or two.

Do we have time for a quick Ask Jordon?

Lana: What's you're wildest fantasy?

I'm not really one to fantasize, Lana, but I often dream of falling in love, if it's all the same to you. It's not very wild, but it's a fantasy... one that I really want to see come true.

Here's a spectacular (and huge) photo: it's a ten-hour-and-forty-minute time exposure of the night sky in Namibia. (That's in Africa.) Imagine how dark had to be to get a good exposure for that long. Pretty dark, I'd say.

Only the most abused movie clichés get special names. The Stormtrooper effect is one. Although the protagonist's battle with the antagonist is by far the most difficult, it just so happens that there is no strength in numbers, for the good guy can easily mow down dozens of bad guys as long as they're in a group.

Yesterday was the school's annual open house. It's just a way for the teachers to introduce themselves to their new students' parents, so we students don't have to be there. But of course, there will always be some parents who take their kids anyway, and I always end up getting pulled around school.

It was raining, so it was a lot of fun walking to the freezing auditorium to hear the new principal, Mr. Gordon, speak. Except he wasn't there. We were a few minutes late, so we entered in the middle of an assistant principal giving some speech about how great the school was. I found out later that Mr. Gordon's father had suddenly died, so he would be gone for at least a week. That's a pretty good reason not to be at your new school's open house.

I waited for my dad to get there (he had to get off work a little later than he wanted), and then we proceeded on the tour of my classes. Three years ago, the school would allow parents to walk freely in and out of their kids' classrooms and chat with the teachers. Nowadays, it's more formalized. The parents are expected to follow their kids' schedules, going to each classroom, sitting in the students' seats, and listening to a lecture from the teacher until ten minutes pass and the bell rings.

One thing I thought that was interesting was that some teachers tended to go on and on about their classes, and others ran out of things to say in ten minutes. Mr. Gates (calculus) and Mrs. Mackey (English) tend to talk more, so they went on past the bell. Mr. Gates had even written notes for his lecture to the parents, and he gave handouts to them. (O Mr. Gates, I salute you for your professionalism.) I guess teachers have always had their differences and quirks, but I thought it was funny to notice.

Anyway, by tagging along and listening to the lectures, I did learn a bit more about my teachers (like how long they've all been teaching -- sheesh), and I guess that's a good thing. They are people, after all.

Speaking of which: yesterday, someone said to Luke, "Wouldn't it be funny if, all of a sudden in the middle of class, Mr. Gates started doing the robot?" Luke told me and the others this morning, and I couldn't stop laughing at the idea. Mr. Gates, as I've said, is very professional and always keeps a very formal tone. In fact, he so rarely strays from the subject of math that I nearly crack up just listening to him talk about other things. I thought it would be difficult to keep my composure in his class today, but it was actually pretty easy. Paradoxically, it's hard to imagine him doing the robot if he's standing right there.

And now for some practical and impractical applications of Ask Jordon.

KRISTEN: When IS "Y" a Vowel?!!!!!

I think it's pretty much whenever it doesn't come at the beginning of a word. In those cases, it assumes some other vowels' sounds, like in pony, orderly, cyst, and syzygy.

Luke: In the past, you posted a link that claimed everything is four. I disagree. Can you rephrase this to be a question _and_ answer it?

I gave this a little thought, and I'm pretty sure I've come up with the best possible way to rephrase declarative sentences into interrogative ones.

"Do you know that in the past, you posted a link that claimed everything is four, and that I disagree?"

The answer: Yes, I know that I posted a link that claimed everything is four, and yes, I now know (by virtue of having been told by you) that you disagree.

Here's a CGI recreation of the dropping of the atom bomb on Hiroshima (YouTube link). The scary part is that that thing was a firecracker by today's standards.

I had heard of rumors about Starbucks's "short" cappuccino, which, according to legend, is smaller than a "tall" (supposedly their smallest size). Nobody I've told has believed me because Starbucks doesn't have a "short" size on the menu board -- they wouldn't want you to buy the cheapest drink, after all. Alas, I was right. This and other forms of product sabotage are apparently a common practice.

One year ago: "Here are some reasons not to write a novel."
Two years ago: "I didn't know they taught calculus in high school, but what do I know?"

Yesterday I auditioned for the school's variety show. (I don't know why they don't call it a talent show. That's what it is.) I was in the variety show two years ago, but luckily, I didn't have to audition then; I was called in as a replacement guitarist a week before the show.

Anyway, a little while ago, I gave Gilbert a recording of a song I wrote, and he liked it a lot, so I asked him if he would play it with me in the variety show. (After all, when people saw me in the variety show two years ago, they kept telling me that I should be in it again.) I also tried to convince Justin to audition, but he wasn't really sure what he could do.

So yesterday, after a pep rally (which, nostalgically, was the first one we've had in the gym since freshman year; even though it dragged on a bit, there were some funny antics that made it interesting. For example, Curtis -- yes, the same Curtis mentioned in a few old posts -- somehow got a hold of a bullhorn and was using it to start chants like "Freshmen go home!" Then he ran to another section of the stands, but it wasn't long before an administrator found him and took a hold of the bullhorn), Gilbert and I headed to the auditorium for the audition (but only after Gilbert, who was leading the way, forgot where the exits in the gym were -- we haven't really been there since freshman year, you have to remember -- and he accidentally led us into the locker room where the cheerleaders were changing. Whoops! But [un]fortunately, we were out of there quickly).

For the fourth and last day of auditions, there were a lot of people there. In fact, Justin showed up and decided to audition to be the MC. But as in any talent show, most of the acts were musical, so I got kind of nervous about not being good enough. Since I had some time to kill before I would have a ride home, I decided to wait until almost the very end to go up and play.

We didn't do the whole song because there was only so much time, but the teacher in charge of the show said that she liked it. But she (and some other teacher who was with her) said that I had some trouble hitting the high notes, which is probably true. They suggested that I either get a voice coach or sing the offending lines a whole octave lower. I wasn't willing to do either of those things, but later it occurred to me that I could probably play the song in a lower key if I had to. Or maybe I just faltered because I was nervous and because I had strained my voice at the pep rally. But whatever the cause and solution, Gilbert and I are in the show.

In other news, today was my first day back at my old job. It was office work as usual, but this time, a number of things were different. The big thing, really, was that my sister was working with me. There were some new faces there, and some old ones were gone. The place had been also been remodeled, or at least rearranged and painted.

The great thing about working there is that the boss is a friend of the family -- that's how I got the job, in fact. We used to be neighbors, so when he read in the local paper that I was doing this blagging thing on the Internets, that's when he talked to me about giving me a job. I would see his daughter, Briana, in the office every once in a while, and my sister and I were pleased to find today that she was still working there. We got to catch up on things. We go way back, after all.

I used to work there for four hours a week, on Fridays only, so I expected that working seven and a half hours a week on Fridays only would be a bigger bore. Not to say that working was boring, but sometimes those four hours would pass like a snail on... well, anywhere a snail might happen to be. So I was surprised when the seven and a half hours passed quickly. I guess it's because I had a lot of work to keep me busy, and probably the novelty of going back to work kept things relatively exciting.

I wonder how much I'm getting paid...

And now for some Ask Jordon that's completely different.

natasha: If you had to choose a quote from each of the Overheard websites, which would be your favorite and why?

The quotations from Overheard in New York, Overheard in the Office, and Overheard at the Beach are all pretty funny, but only one quotation from any of the sites stands out in my mind, and that is this one.

>From Canada :) : How does it feel to live in a place without snow?

As someone who's never seen snow, you might expect my answer to be something along the lines of, "I don't know." But actually, it does feel a little weird to have a green Christmas. I blame the North's influence on American culture, or maybe it's just the fact that it snows nearly everywhere except Florida.

If you must surf the web at work, check out Is It Friday? and, in a similar vein, Is it 5:30?

One year ago: "I've been thinking, as I am apt to do, and I think our language is illogical."
Two years ago: "I received three responses. Not bad, methinks."