How to Buy A Space Shuttle With Duct Tape

I'll be back to a regular posting schedule soon, but in the meantime, here's another guest post from Peter Hurford. Are my "Links At The End of the Post"^TM really that famous?

It's me again; the Greatplay.net Peter Guy. Jordon is busy "entertaining" -- whatever that might mean -- so he told me specifically to, and I quote, "[f]eel free to be TWoS's first repeat guest poster." So, while Jordon may be coming back on Tuesday, I can sneak this guest post in before he gets back.

But what should I blog about? I warn you that it's very dangerous to blog without "A Concrete Idea"^TM beforehand. Otherwise you end up with rambly posts like this one, instead of cool things like Monkeys on Typewriters.

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So, instead I'm going to tell you a little story. Here you go:

How to Buy A Space Shuttle With Duct Tape
by Peter Hurford

First, head down to your basement and into your time machine. The reason the time machine exists in your basement will be explained later -- you should not actually need a time machine to complete this journey. You only need Duct Tape.

Operate your time machine and travel into the future until you get to an era where time machines have been invented. Use your $1 million to buy your own time machine. Send this time machine back in time to your basement, present day. This accounts for the time machine in the previous paragraph. Like the time machine, the $1 million will be explained later, and are not needed to start the journey.

After you have your time machine, go back in time to 1920 and open a bank account. Find someone and offer to trade your duct tape for a penny. They will definitely accept, as duct tape had not yet been invented, and thus is an unseen wonder. Deposit your penny into an account with 3% interest, compounded annually. By the time you get back to 2010, you should end up with $0.14 in 1920s money, which, due to interest, is now worth $1.44. Offer to buy money dated before 1920 on ebay, using your new $1.44.

Now that you have $1.44 in 1920s money, go back in time and redeposit that in your account along with the penny you found on the ground. Going back to 2010, you should now have $167.39, with interest and adjusted for inflation. You will have to repeat this process two more times to get $1 million -- specifically, you'd have $3,610,088.83. You can then use to buy the time machine in the second paragraph, which will account for the time machine in your basement in the first paragraph.

NASA says that a space shuttle costs about $1.7 billion. Assuming the time machine costs $1 million, you should have $2,610,088.83 left over. Going back and forth between 1920 and 2010, starting with $2,610,088.83, you should need to make two trips to get $1.7 billion -- specifically, you'd have $56,291,504,222.13.

So buy the space shuttle. You lose your duct tape in the process, but you get a space shuttle, and you should have enough money left over to launch it. If not, one more trip with your remaining $54.6 billion should net you an additional $7.9 trillion.

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Since this is the website that requires "Links At The End of the Post"^TM, here's the compounding interest calculator and the inflation calculator I used for the math in my story.

If Jordon were writing this post, he probably would have linked to stuff off of The J-Walk Blog. The comparison of the Big Mac and Burger King Burger seems interesting, seeing if that commercial is really true. And here's a picture of the world's tallest man and the world's smallest man.

If I were writing for the World of Stuff, my go-to link site would probably be Digg -- today there's this picture of a door, this failure at the FBI, this retrospective about buying drinks for girls at a bar, and how to spot bogus user reviews.

Well, with that, I'm off.

See you around, stuffers!

What TWoS Means to Me

While I'm busy entertaining a guest, Peter Hurford satiates your hunger for stuff with this site's first guest post in two and a half years.

Hi! I'm Peter Hurford. I run the amazing website Greatplay.net, which Jordon sometimes links to -- for example in this post and then in this post, and in that fancy blogroll in the sidebar.

I actually asked Jordon to let me guest post because I was bored, but apparently he is -- quote -- "not sure when [he'll] have time to write a post next". So you ended up with me or nothing. And I'm hoping you prefer me over nothing. Feel free to compare me to the other guest posts if you want to know how I'm doing.

Actually, that was more of a demand. You WILL prefer me over nothing. I'm hoping the lack of any serious competition (from Jordon during this week, not from the other guest posts) will get my demand off the ground.

Anyways, the fact is that I like The World of Stuff a lot, and it really motivated me to bring my own blog off the ground. I vaguely remember stumbling upon it because of The Ultimate Cool Characters back in 2005ish, about 2 or 3 tWoS web redesigns ago. I had my own Greatplay.net back then and it was about 50% more personal and 75% less updated than it is now.

I got involved with The World of Stuff directly when I asked for a link exchange, back when friendly link exchanges were considered "cool". I ended up in his sidebar (which now contains many blogs), and he ended up in mine (which used to contain two blogs, and now doesn't exist.) For some reason, Greatplay.net was then doing very well traffic-wise (something that I can't seem to recapture) while tWoS ended up staying about even. Jordon then asked me for advice! (Of course, today, the tables are turned.)

In 2007, I was behind in technology in keeping up with TWoS. Jordon had this cool thing called PLAPS which, while no longer defined on the site anywhere (as far as I can tell) used to be a script that would allow you to write posts ahead of time and then suspend them, scheduling them to not appear to the public until later. This allowed one to develop content on a regular schedule while secretly writing nearly everything on weekends, or seem to post while secretly on vacation. I wanted to try to use PLAPs. But by then, Jordon had already discovered Wordpress, something I had never heard of!

I then sat around for some more years and then relaunched my site with Wordpress on March 2009, more or less the way it is now. For those that don't know, Wordpress is a blogging software that lets you run a blog on your site without having to script the entire system by yourself (which would take weeks). I also got the idea for Ask Jordon, pretty much stolen, but with a nice link on my site. I, however, gave Jordon the idea of "Jordon Asks You" (except he gave it the cool Russian Reversal name). So I guess it's pretty much even, assuming "Jordon Asks You" still ran, which it does not.

But the end of the story is that if it wasn't for Jordon, I probably would never have Wordpress, I would never have Ask Peter, and I would likely never have the blog I have today.

Therefore, I blame Jordon entirely for my lack of success.

And you can blame Jordon for the existence of this post.

Thank you.

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

I'm on vacation till Saturday, so I've non-desperately asked my sister, who's actually on vacation with me, to write a guest post.

Jordon told me he was getting desperate, and now I know it. I’m Kristen, Jordon’s twin sister, who should be mentioned more but tragically isn’t. (And yes, I’m older than he is). I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be talking about, but give me a break because the last time I did this sort of thing was when I had a Livejournal back in the day. I’m sort of like Jordon, except a little bit less cynical and maybe not as eloquent. Oh, and I write stream-of-consciousness, as if it wasn’t evident by now.

Well, our graduation was last Tuesday the 29th, and I cannot believe I’m out of high school. It was a long four years and a short four years at the same time. That kind of thing where you want time to fly when you’re bored to tears, and time to stand still when you’re having the time of your life. Actually, graduation was that kind of thing all rolled into one night. I was so excited and so, so ready to leave high school behind, but when we were all together for graduation practice and graduation afterwards, I had so much fun with everyone from my class. After the ceremony, it was so crowded and there was such a rush; I wanted to say good-bye to some of my friends, but, like Jordon said, “That’s what graduation parties are for”. Also, I’m going to miss some of my teachers more than I can even fathom (which is either amazingly sweet or terribly creepy), but I can’t invite them to my graduation party because that would be terribly creepy as well.

And honestly, I don’t feel like I’ve learned much of anything so far, even with my high school diploma. I simply can’t imagine going off to get a job – whatever that means – with all my preparedness that has prepared me preparingly for the work force. But I bet I’ll feel the same way after I graduate college, though that’s the time when I’m really supposed to be “ready” for a job. Truthfully, I never want to be ready for a job. Although I don’t want to be in school forever either. Whatever. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Other notable(?) things: I gave blood for the first time yesterday, all for a free movie ticket. Lord, I’m cheap. Also, I’m currently obsessed with my iPod, which I just got a few days ago – I know, I’m miles behind the bandwagon, but Jordon still hasn’t gotten one. Oh, and it’s a (Product)Red iPod, which donates some of the profits to help prevent AIDS in Africa, so I can pretend to be politically aware and compassionate and philanthropic, all while jamming to horribly superficial songs. I should be packing my things for our cruise which is tomorrow morni- I mean, where we are right now, partying it up.

And since I have no originality, I’m giving shout-outs to the people I’ve loved this school year and who I’d be bored and/or insane without: I love you Lisa and Nathalie!; Jennifer, my in-school twin, who really should go to UF with me instead of UM; Dania, who’s probably eating right now :); Kim and Caitlin, make Pompano High great next year because I won’t be there to do so; Danny and Billy, the twins who Jordon and I have known since we were two(!) and who tore up high school.

I think my fifteen minutes is up.

Oh, I’m supposed to put links and things up: Here’s a picture of Johnny Depp (yes, the Johnny Depp), who I saw play at a local club a few months ago here in Florida.

Pretty /b/ but no one did /r/ a rant...

Hello everyone, I am Gilbert. I shall be doing a guest post for today.

<guest post>

I wanted to be able to rant about something, but i couldn't think of anything that would be proper to rant about. Don't you just hate it when you cant think of what a good rant would be? So many things that suck and could be bickered on... yet I could not think of anything. A rant should be good, and have some sort of meaning to it, and if it can contain a lesson, that would be awesome too. But did I find a proper one? No... I did not...

Anyway... you may know me as the occasional mention on this web log, y'know, the guy obssesed with altering the images with pictures of Jordon... It's fun... really. In fact I propose a competition... altering of Jordon's picture, you wont win anything good... or anything... but you'll have fun (and if Jordon put's them up you can steal his bandwith later... or can you?) Anyway... just send the pictures to P.O. Box 5820 santa monica california 90091. < <(joke) Actually, send to hydrogsogilby at gmail dot com. The "winner" get's a mention or something... but if you participate... then we're all losers... I mean winners...

</guest post>

Hasta luego.

We'll Meet Again

Greetings, Stuffers,

As I write this, it's the day after school let out, though JOR-DON won't publish it until after he leaves for his “vacation.” Jordon has asked the rest of The Five to write guest posts for some reason or another. (I'm not sure why at all: he has stacks of material ready in case of death so that none of you will figure it out for a while. Clues are included in matrices within the text.) Since I plan to refer to The Five many, many times in the future and no one will know what I'm talking about, I'm taking this opportunity to be sentimental (aw).

It was only two or three weeks ago that I announced that I was definitely not the sentimental one when we were discussing one of the many articles I've been meaning to write for The Pulse. So much for that.

In an extremely lucid and insightful moment – unlike any I've had since the one in March, which was nicely destroyed – this afternoon, I became fully aware of life, the universe and everything. More importantly, perhaps, I fully understood each of The Five, the first such understanding since I had a dream that we DO NOT SPEAK OF. We're all essentially crazy. I've noted at least two main personalities for each of us.

I've had many requests to open the Creepy Archives to the public, so I'll publish just two small pieces. Today, talking to JOR-DON: “I was thinking the most beautiful thoughts earlier, and I hope I can capture them for the posts.” 18 May 2006, talking to Bria N: “Gorgonzola cheese, please. Dignam isn't dead! Well, they went to the trouble of burying him anyway! Beastly dead. Poor Ruddy. Midwives on Sandymount beach. Long live King Leopold I! Bronze from anear. Gold from afar. We're a capital couple, Bloom and I. Theeee! Erections while being hanged? Parnell? Beastly dead!”

Introducing JOR-DON KAL-IL-ICH: His basic modes are Stuffer Jor-don, Colleges Like It™ Jor-don, and Gloomy Soul Jor-don. But we'll talk more about JOR-DON's psychology in my next post.

Introducing Bri7 N “BS” Stanwyck: (26 May) “Note to Archive: When a friend is trying to write a college entrance essay, don't make fun of them for being manic-depressive.” Sometimes you deal with Arrogantly Smart BS, and sometimes you deal with Creepy Lisp BS. (09 April) “Oh. THAT bottom left corner. Well, yeah. LSD.”

Introducing Cardinal Mischka: Definitely needs to work on her speeling for AP Englis. Greatest person you'll meet while less-than-three-ing trees, but likely to be possessed while less-than-three-ing puppies. Enough said.

Introducing Megan: Cheerful... sometimes! And don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?

I am seriously a 25 year-old dinosaur most of the time. There's more (Other-Guy Luke, Political Luke and Psychedelic Luke), but who needs more than DINOSAURS? That's what I said, too.

As Jor-don was saying yesterday, we had to make projects about what we thought was seriously the sexiest decade in American History. He and Andrew used “Turn! Turn! Turn!” as their song, which was pretty OK, except that we didn't get to see it. Today we got to talking about the Byrds, and their cover of “We'll Meet Again,” which was strangely apt for the last day of school. The Byrds liked to end their albums on an ironic note, and what better way to be ironic than with Dr Strangelove? “We'll Meet Again” was originally a British war song meant to boost morale.

The Five will not meet again until the Presidents' Day-like celebration they might hold. Anyhow, today's fit of insight somehow, um... THE END.

“Keep smiling true
Just like you always do
Till the blue skies make the dark clouds fade away
Some sunny day...”

Frank Zappa's Playboy Interview: “Yeah. He came by my house and I was hopping around because of this splinter, so he pulled it out. Good story, huh?”

Library of the Uncanny: Robert Hunter's collection of supernatural stories.

Super String Theory: An easy-to-understand site on String Theory that assumes you're not a cosmologist but does not sacrifice content.

Tibetan Buddhist Internet Radio: The perfect companion for a reading of the beautiful new edition of The Tibetan Book of the Dead, the first ever complete English translation that includes color images, a history of the text, introduction by the Dalai Lama, and a glossary of terms explaining the meaning of tougher concepts.

--M. Luke Myers, POEE

An awesome country

While I'm on vacation, my friend Kevin is guest posting today.

Well, since Jordon is out in Gainesville, I'm taking over The World of Stuff for a few days ...or maybe just for this post. To his viewers from all over the world, I tell you that you must all comment below. Or, I'll put it this way, in more of a poll-type thing: IF YOU'RE READING THIS, PLEASE COMMENT, regardless of what you have to say, put a comma, if you want, I don't care, I just want to see how many people really do read this.

Okay, anyways. Let's see what to talk about... Well I just came back from a three and a half week vacation over in Honduras. My mother is Honduran and all my family is there, so we visit them every summer and sometimes Christmas and Easter. Spanish is spoken there and it's partially due to our trips there that I've learned to master Spanish. Sí, yo puedo hablar español. It's a nice country, with rich traditions and history (but I guess that applies to anywhere really), and the food is good. My family's from a city called Comayagua, but lately we've been staying in the country's two largest cities: San Pedro Sula and the capital Tegucigalpa. Okay, I'm definetly boring people, so I need to talk about something more interesting.

Well I don't really know how to sum up a country and its culture in one post without boring you, so I'll just say that it's an awesome country. There's mountains, volcanoes, beaches (Atlantic & Pacific), Mayan ruins, jungles, islands, surfing, scuba diving, old cathedrals, etcetera. Jeez, I really wanted to make this post be great but it sounds crappy, oh jeez, sorry. Peut être depuis (that's French for 'maybe later').

-kevin

P.S. If I had a website, this is where I'd plug it.

Rants, links, life, etc.

So I can kind of relax while I'm on vacation, I had Todd from the one and only chewbonkers.com take the reins for today's post. I will return on Saturday, June 25.

My Share of Rants:
Astrology books. Bought one today, and I regret it. Not only do they blab nonsense all over the place, they repeat it. That's right, repeat it.

"Leo's have a great sense of humour and are very theatrical."

"Capricorn's are most liked for their great amount of humour and are always basking in the spotlight."
___________________
My Share of Links:
Hey, think twice before you make that Windows XP password. They can be bypassed.

Hey, and you can check out too how Windows has sucked before now!

Do you want to live at this hotel?
___________________
My Share of Life:
I have decided that I need to be more flexible, strong, and more energetic. I had already tried to do my "FBI health checklist", but I need to move it up a notch. I've decided that I'm going to skip, run, bike, stretch, situp, pushup, and dumbell lift for 40 minutes each day together. Now that better work.
___________________
How to make people think you're busy and famous online when you're not:

1) Take a couple weeks to respond to emails
2) State on your site that you get hundreds and hundreds of emails a day and it may take awhile to reply.
3) Make strict requirements about the content of the email and say that if they don't follow them, the people who sort your mail will delete them.
4) On instant messages, don't give instant replies. Wait a few minutes, then say you were busy with many other messages.
5) Say you require email notification that they are adding you on an instant messenger, or you will be screened out.
6) Say comments are closed for some posts because it is a 'controversial' post, and your many visitors may get outraged.
7) Have a forum on your site.
8) Have auto repliers for your email, saying that you have received it, and "please don't send it again."
9) Have an elaborate FAQ section and tell people to read it first before they email you.
10) Say your IP sometimes crashes you have so many instant messages, so please hold back your excitement.
11) Post model like pictures of you and say autographs by snailmail are still available.

Have fun. Hope you enjoyed my post.

Sean's Really Cool Post (Ft. A Bio and Other Stuff!)

So I can kind of relax while I'm on vacation, I had my friend Sean take the reins for today's post. I will return on Saturday, June 25.

Hi. I'm Sean Hanrahan. Most of you probably don't know me, and, if this is true, consider yourself lucky. I'm 15, I go to St. Thomas Aquinas High School in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, and I'm one of the many guitar players in our band. My favorite bands are Sum 41, Less Than Jake, Green Day, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dropkick Murphys, The Beatles, The Used, Face To Face, Led Zeppelin, Rancid, Blink-182, The Clash, Foo Fighters, Unwritten Law, and Weezer. My other interests include skateboarding, making videos, music, blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. It's proabably the same stuff most everone else my age says.

So let's see... I need to do something cool for my blog entry, so i've decided to add a very moving rendition I have made of myself.

The Vans Warped Tour is fast approaching, so if you haven't already, you better check it out here: "Vans Warped Tour 2005." Also coming up is the release of many good albums. Recently released were the Foo Fighters' new double album "In Your Honor," The Unseen's "State of Discontent,"and Weezer's "Make Believe," none of which I own, but I've heard they are good. Important upcoming releases are Dropkick Murphys' "The Warrior's Code" (June 21), the Transplants' "Haunted Cities" (June 21), Pennywise's "The Fuse" (I'm not sure when it comes out), and CKY's "An Answer Can Be Found" (June 28).

Well, that's about all i can think of talking about. I'm done. Later.