The World of Stuff .com

The right tool for the job

I like to be prepared. If I happen to need a screwdriver, a bottle opener, or a tiny pair of scissors, it’s good to know that I have a tool on hand that can do the job. That’s why I asked my parents for a Swiss Army knife for Christmas a few years ago. It’s been on my keychain pretty much ever since, and it’s served me well.

But my trusty Victorinox is a bit awkward to use. Even though I’ve had it for years, I’m still clumsy pulling out the blades or trying to use the scissors. It’s because I’m a left-hander using a tool designed for right-handed people.

I usually don’t like make a big deal out of the fact that I’m left-handed, but it’s frustrating to live in a world where everything is designed to be used easily by right-handed people. My everyday inconveniences are invisible to them. They don’t have to use the “wrong” hand to press buttons on the microwave or open double doors (why not have them both unlocked?). They find the arrangement of buttons on the remote control to be completely intuitive, and they can adjust their watch like it’s nothing. It’s almost as if I’m in (literally) a mirror universe where everything is inexplicably off.

So, what makes a Swiss Army knife left-handed? Well, right-handed Swiss Army knives are designed to be used easily by right-handers, so on a left-handed one, everything opens out the opposite way. (Exercise: Hold a Swiss Army knife in your left hand. With your right hand, pull out the [larger] blade. It is now pointing toward you.) If it includes scissors or a corkscrew, those are reversed as well. (Right-handers turn clockwise, lefties turn counter-clockwise.) Here’s a video that explains more.

Left-handed Swiss Army knives are surprisingly hard to find. I contacted Victorinox and Wenger, the makers of authentic Swiss Army knives. The representative from Victorinox said that their tools “should be ambidextrous” (which you now know is baloney). Wenger said that they had tried making left-handed knives but that they had stopped due to low demand. So they did exist.

I called around to local outdoorsy and cutlery-type stores. None of them had any—at one place, the guy even asked if I was pulling his leg. (“How can a knife be left-handed?”) I scoured the Internet and found some for sale in online stores that sell left-handed things. They’re all made by Wenger, and they all have this dopey “left-handed” symbol on them (an international floating-head guy with a glowing left nub), perhaps to serve as a warning to the rest of the population. They’re also more expensive than their right-handed counterparts, but it looks like left-handed.com has the best selection (five models!) and the most reasonable prices.

So, after much searching and comparing, I’ve just bought this one, and it should be arriving… eventually. The site’s based in the UK, and the shipping was cheap.

The instruction booklet for Monopoly is like the Bible: everyone thinks they know what it says, but no one actually reads it. Monopoly can actually be fast-paced and interesting if you play by the rules.