The World of Stuff .com

DMV

The very letters strike fear and/or loathing into the hearts of millions: DMV.

Here in Washington, it’s not actually called the Department of Motor Vehicles, but rather the Department of Licensing. The idea is the same, though: wait forever in a long line to be treated rudely by people who don’t care about you and give you a hard time. That’s what people seem to think of, anyway.

There are actually a couple of DOL offices in Seattle, each having its own working hours and offering a different set of services. I wanted to get a plain old ID card, not a driver’s license, and I wanted to do it on the weekend, so I was left having to go to a branch waaaay out at the edge of the city limits. I trekked out there the Saturday before last.

I had never been to that part of the city, and I was surprised by how suburban it was. I was also surprised by how many people were at the DOL, although I shouldn’t have been. The place was pretty large, but it was mostly filled with chairs arranged in rows like the most boring movie theater in the world. I was worried that they wouldn’t call me before they closed. I was there a total of three hours just to get an ID card.

An explanation for those who are looking at me funny: Before I graduated, my friend Andrea was willing to teach me to drive, but I stubbornly refused to take her up on that offer. Now I realize that it was a mistake, or maybe not. I don’t know. I probably should have done it, I guess, although it wouldn’t have made me want to get a car now. I guess I could have taken an exam to get a permit, but I just don’t care.

Anyway, I filled out a couple of forms, answered a few questions (I confirmed that I was a twin [are they worried that identical twins will trade licenses?] and consented to having “Organ Donor” on my ID card [the first time I've had a chance to do so since volunteering with an organ donation awareness group in college]), and then they took my picture and printed a temporary ID card on paper. I thought it was weird because when I got my last ID in Florida, they made the actual card right there and gave it to me. But oh well.

I was sitting down for a late lunch at a restaurant across the street when I realized that my last name had been misspelled. I went back to the DOL just before they were due to close for the day and pointed out my situation. I had to go through the process all over again, but it didn’t take that long since there was hardly anyone left by that point. And fortunately, the picture was better the second time. Also, I returned to the restaurant.

On my way back home from that ordeal, I stopped at the Seattle Central Library to pick up a library card. I had already filled out an application for it online, so that was a quick process. I hadn’t been in the library before, so I hung around for a while to check it out. It looks like a cool place to spend a few hours, but I guess it reflects poorly on me that I was most interested in the DVDs. It didn’t look like they had a lot of them, but maybe I’ll go back and look again.

A few days later, I got my actual state ID card in the mail. It’ll take some getting used to. Every state’s IDs look fake except for your state’s, just like every country’s money looks fake besides yours. (Cue barrage of incredulous comments to the contrary complaining how I’m supposedly xenophobic and unenlightened. Jeez, people.)

And now, a history/geography lesson: The Difference Between the United Kingdom, Great Britain, and England Explained.