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The winners never say “It’s only a game…”

Remember how college football equals epic drama?

In September of last year, the Florida Gators suffered an embarrassing loss to Ole Miss at home. After the game, Tim Tebow, the Gators’ star quarterback, promised that no one would work harder than he would for the rest of the season. The Gators went on to win every game, including their conference championship and the national championship. The words of “The Promise” were etched onto a plaque outside the stadium. Tebow led the Gators through this season undefeated as well, for a total of 22 victories in a row.

The fun came to an end tonight as Alabama crushed Florida to win the conference championship.

I was watching at my friend Andrea’s apartment. All of us—she, her boyfriend, her other friends, and I—were on edge the whole time. The Gators never led in the game. A comeback looked less and less likely. Finally, the score was 32-13 in the fourth quarter, and the announcers were declaring it over. Alabama had possession and took a knee. Tim Tebow cried. He had already played the last home game of his career. The team’s hopes for a repeat national title were ruined.

A lot of thoughts were going around in my mind. I was tense. I could feel my heart beating in my stomach. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time, and I have had some pretty bad times. I thought about how I could cheer myself up. If I had a bottle, I would drink. If I had a girl, I would kiss her. But there was nothing I could do. I wondered if I was the only person in the room who felt this way. Everyone else seemed to be laughing it off. Maybe they were just coping better.

Rather than sticking around to watch more TV, we went out. I kept my sweater on over my Gators shirt. We went to the mall, where I couldn’t help but see tons of Gators merchandise for sale. We walked around for a little bit, I guess to get some milkshakes. I got one. Then we went to Target, where there was also tons of Gators merchandise in view. Andrea and some of the others bought cases of Dr Pepper, which happened to be the main sponsor of tonight’s game.

I felt like it was letting it get to me too much, but I didn’t want to say that because then everyone else would know it was getting to me too much. I think they all could tell, anyway. (If not, I’ve just blown my cover.) They took me back to my apartment, and to my dismay, I realized it was only nine o’clock. I had been counting on plopping right into bed, but it was too early. Oh, the world can be cruel sometimes.

I know, I know. This is a ridiculous thing to get worked up about. It is only a game. It’s an hour of bulky sociology majors trying to move an oddly-shaped ball from one end of a field to the other in short bursts. It’s not politics. It’s not love. It’s not like anyone died.

This is where I would rebut those potential criticisms and point out why it is in fact important, but I’m coming up short. All I know is that a lot of people had their hopes riding on this season, and that everyone who hates the Gators will have a field day. Actually, thanks to the magic of Facebook, I can tell that they already are. I guess that’s the worst part for me since I have thin skin. Being a loser isn’t fun.

Yes, this post is going to look stupid in the distant or not-so-distant future. But I don’t know which is worse: feeling sad about this or knowing that it doesn’t matter. When I’m feeling down about something, I want it to believe it’s important, so I’d rather not hear optimistic words of wisdom, even though they often are true.

Meanwhile, the struggle between emotion and reason goes on. So, in spite of myself, I’d like to offer the following. Feel free to hold hands with the people next to you and sing along.

We are the boys from old Florida,
F-L-O-R-I-D-A,
Where the girls are the fairest,
The boys are the squarest
Of any old state down our way.

We are all strong for old Florida,
Down where the old Gators play.
In all kinds of weather,
We’ll all stick together
For F-L-O-R-I-D-A.

Here’s something few people will be interested in: A Literary Appreciation of the Olson/zoneinfo/tz Database. (Via waxy.org)

Watch old movies you’ve never heard of at Classic Cinema Online. (Via Lifehacker)