A sweet end

End-of-year things have been going on. Last Monday, I presided over the last Esperanto Club meeting of the year. Not a lot of people showed up, but I guess that can be expected since people had to study for exams and do more important end-of-year things. We had elections, but no one was challenged, so they were kind of pointless. Still, you’ve got to respect the democratic process.

Last Thursday, Get Carded had its year-end dinner at Bento Cafe, a hip Asian place. This year, they’d been awarding points to people for volunteering a certain number of hours at events. The member with the most points at the end of the year would get a gift card for the restaurant of their choice. I was the frontrunner all year, so Michael and Jehan, the guys in charge, already asked me what restaurant I wanted a gift card for. And on Thursday night, I was awarded Volunteer of the Year (defending my title from last year) with a gift card good for Chili’s, Macaroni Grill, and a couple of other places whose names I can’t be bothered to remember because I’m too lazy to take the gift card out of my wallet even though I could have taken it out and checked in the time it’s taken me to write this.

Saturday night was a Gator Freethought party. I was only able to go to a few of their meetings this year due to scheduling conflicts, so I thought I’d make up for it by going to a party at the former president’s house. It was fun; there were games, political debates, and s’mores. I wish I had gone to more of those parties.

Oh, and exams. My first exam was yesterday, a whole week after classes ended. I think I did well. My other two were today. In fact, the exams I expected to be harder were easier and the one I expected to be easier was harder. Is that ironic? It might be Alanis Morissette ironic, but I don’t think it’s really ironic.

For my discrete math class, we got to choose our own grade distribution (according to certain guidelines), so I took advantage of that by writing a program that would find the best grade distribution for me. I gave it a few possible values for my final exam grade and went for one of the distributions that weighed my final somewhat heavily but not as heavily as possible. It made getting an A pretty easy without the risk of getting a very bad grade if I somehow bombed the final. I shared my program with my classmates, and at least some of them used it, which was cool.

After that exam, which was my last, my roommate moved out, and I’m now left in a half-empty room till Saturday. But all is not lost. I planned a date with my new friend. We hadn’t met for a while due to various things (mainly exams) getting in the way, but things worked out tonight. We went to Chop Stix, a pan-Asian place, for dinner, and it was delightful. I’d like to see her again before I go home, and I might.

And, well, that’s basically it. I guess it’s time to put this year to bed. I’ll be moving out on Saturday, and I’ll probably get home Sunday.

If world leaders were on Facebook, they would probably have a Facebook group for world leaders.

The Benny Hillifier makes any video sillier by substituting the audio with that sax tune from The Benny Hill Show.

You know you need to put your comic strip to bed when you reuse artwork and/or jokes from decades ago. Recently, Blondie and The Family Circus have been caught doing just that. (Via J-Walk Blog)

The 5th semiannual Ubuntu upgrade post

Ah, the thrill of the upgrade. The excitement of downloading all-new versions of your favorite software, and the very real possibility that your entire system could get hosed. After a series of relatively uneventful upgrades, I wondered when my luck would run out.

So Ubuntu 9.04 (insert codename that no one likes here) came out on Thursday. As I’ve been doing for the past few upgrades, I downloaded the alternate install CD (although I used BitTorrent this time).

Once I got that going, the actual upgrade went pretty smoothly… until the end, when Ubuntu said that the installation failed due to a broken package. It was Bonager, an old program I installed from a third-party .deb package and used for a while but wasn’t using anymore. I went to Synaptic and it told me to try sudo apt-get -f install, but that didn’t work. After some Googling, I found this, which got rid of the program.

sudo update-rc.d -f bonager remove
sudo rm /etc/init.d/bonager
sudo dpkg -P --force-all bonager

Thinking that was over with, I went to the Update Manager to see if there were any new updates since the release. The Upgrade Manager told me I had to do a partial upgrade, presumably because of the broken package mess. I started that, and it asked me to insert a CD. I hit cancel, and it continued for a bit but then stopped without explanation. I tried again, and the partial upgrade would start but then the window would disappear. I tried it on the command line (sudo apt-get dist-upgrade) and the reason was that there were more broken packages, presumably caused by the breakage of the first one. sudo apt-get -f install actually fixed the problem, and I ran the upgrade again on the command line without any problems.

The ordeal caused me a lot of grief, but at least there weren’t sharks involved.

I like the new version of Ubuntu. There haven’t been too many funky changes to trip me up, and there have been some little improvements here and there. You can now change gedit‘s syntax highlighting from the status bar; Rhythmbox‘s gapless playback allows songs to finish; Transmission allows bandwidth limit scheduling. As usual, Ubuntu has thrown in some new fonts, but I actually like them. They’re the Liberation fonts, which are apparently metric-compatible with certain popular fonts. They also look pretty slick, like you’d find them in a book or magazine that was trying to look cool. And the new pop-up notifications aren’t that bad. I just wish I could customize them. The little preferences app does nothing.

Some reviews I’ve read assert that subtle improvements have made the Ubuntu experience better overall, and I find myself agreeing. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but OpenOffice.org and Firefox even seem a bit zippier. It’s almost as if Firefox is saying, “Yes, Jordon, install as many extensions as you want!!”

Probably my favorite improvement is the inclusion of Ekiga 3.2, which has buddy list capabilities so you can actually see whether other people are online. At this juncture I’d like to renew my perennial plea for Ekiga contacts. You know, just say hi or something. I’m sip:jordon@ekiga.net. Pretty easy to remember. (It’s also available for Windows!) I really wish there were something like a “Skype Me” forum for SIP users. I’ve even thought of creating something like that myself. Seriously, there must be some people who use SIP for fun, right? How are they supposed to contact each other?

Clerkdogs provides movie recommendations from former video store clerks. The recommendations are supposed to be all the better for it. (Via The Presurfer)

Here’s a USA Sitcom Map showing the settings of sitcoms across the country. There’s a whole map for New York City as well. (Via waxy.org)

The end is near

It wants to be summer. It wants to be summer so bad. It’s actually been hot the past few days, and I’m thinking of old summer memories. If there’s one thing I am, it’s nostalgic.

The last day classes was Wednesday, and it could not have come sooner. I had my last exam for digital logic on Tuesday. I didn’t do as well as I hoped to, but with the inevitable curve, which the professor says should be “substantial,” I’ll have a B. My other exams are all on Wednesday and Thursday, and I leave next Saturday.

One aspect of on-campus life that I’ve never taken advantage of is the swimming pools. There are several here, at least two of which are located near dorms, and at least one of which is located near my dorm. It’s across the street, in fact. I’ve just never gone because of the weather (most of the time I’m here, there’s a risk of having to wear a sweater) and I guess because I usually wouldn’t have someone to go with. But some of my friends from the dorm want to go soon, and I happened to be thinking the same thing.

24-hour quiet hours went into effect at midnight Thursday. In my experience, the continual quiet forces an anticlimactic ending to a year of life in the dorms. People take will take exams over the course of the next week (they start tomorrow and run through next Friday, excepting Sunday) and, being unable to laugh and shout and have a good time, quietly disappear. Inevitably, I am one of the last to leave. I just happen to pick classes that have late exams, and I live so far away that my parents can’t swing up and get me whenever they want.

I’ll actually be one of the last to leave this time, but for once, a lot of other people are checking out on Saturday morning. So maybe this last week won’t be too quiet.

One of my pet peeves is hearing compression artifacts in digital audio. It’s distracting and unnecessary now that we have high-bandwidth connections and better audio formats that make MP3 obsolete. It turns out that not everyone cares about fidelity as much as I do. In fact, a Stanford music professor has found that in six years’ worth of listening tests, his students have shown an increased preference for low-bitrate MP3s over their higher-quality counterparts. One explanation is that people like what they’re used to, and many young people are used to stuffing their iPods with every MP3 they can find and taking them on the go. This also explains why some people think vinyl sounds better. It actually doesn’t, of course; they’re just used to hearing music that way.

Some guy called Doug Nufer wrote a book called Never Again. Each word in the book is used only once. Talk about a constrained writing experiment; it’s actually almost 200 pages. And it looks like the second word is “the.” Tough. (Via J-Walk Blog)

This is probably something I would do. The BBC reports: “A Finnish computer programmer who lost one of his fingers in a motorcycle accident has made himself a prosthetic replacement with a USB drive attached.” The article has a picture. (And the prosthetic is detachable, which is good because he’d probably want more than 2 GB eventually.)

E-E-E

Oh, honey, he’s teasing you. Nobody has two television sets.

I haven’t talked much here about my upcoming trip to Europe with my friends, but believe me, it is still going to happen. I’ve been making arrangements bit by bit. I’ve bought a plane ticket and a train ticket already. But since I’m going to be gone for over two months, I felt that there should be something more.

I’ve decided to keep my job while I’m on vacation. I’m a webmaster here at school. I also happen to blog as a hobby. (“Really?”) I also like to take pictures with my digital camera… do you see where this is going?

I need a laptop.

I do have a laptop. I’ve been using my Dell Inspiron E1505N since I got it almost two years ago. But it’s big and heavy. It has all personal information on it, so I’d hate for it to get lost in a foreign country. It was kind of expensive, so I wouldn’t want to have to replace it. It’s also fragile; I’ve come close to breaking it while carrying it around.

So, for my trip, I’d need a laptop that’s the opposite of all that—one that’s small, light, ad hoc, cheap, and sturdy. Fortunately, the market has answered. I am speaking, of course, of that newly popular class of PCs, the netbook.

Since Andy and I will be traveling as a duo for much of the time, we talked about the possibility of buying a netbook together, sharing it during the trip, and selling it after we get back. I did a bit of research and found a barely used one in my immediate area for $250. It had basically everything I wanted: a low-capacity solid-state drive, a Linux-based operating system, good battery life, and of course, small size. It’s an ASUS Eee PC 4G, and today, it is mine ours. Craigslist does it again!

Apparently, the woman selling it got it as a gift and didn’t want it because she already has a laptop. I can sympathize. I had a hard time convincing myself that I should buy a second laptop, even a cheap one that I would only have for a short time. I figured it would be tantamount to declaring my two-year-old laptop obsolete, and that computer cost too much for me to take it out of service so early.

After using the Eee PC, I’ve set aside those concerns. The netbook is for casual use only. The 800×480 screen is almost too small for web browsing, and the keyboard is almost too small for typing. (In fact, I haven’t switched the layout to Dvorak because I need my fingers to move around more!) It’s not the most pleasant experience, but you can manage in a pinch. And dang if it isn’t convenient.

So, during our 68-day pinch, it should get the job done just fine. It’ll be much better than not blogging, not being able to take lots of photos, and not making money. Now, I’ll just have to show it to Andy and see what he thinks. I’m pretty sure he’ll like it. Also, he owes me $125.

Here’s a fun mashup for your listening and viewing pleasure: Mother of All Funk Chords. (Via Lessig Blog)

Recently, an old portrait that might be of Shakespeare has come to light. If it’s actually of him, it would change the little that we know about his life. But those of you who like a little mystery in your Elizabethan poet-playwrights need not be concerned because we’ll probably never know one way or the other.

Important things

My university is able to attract prominent guests all the time. Last year there were quite a few that I can remember: John Kerry, the MythBusters, Alberto Gonzales, Jack Kevorkian, Bob Saget, and Bill Nye. This year saw the likes of Ralph Nader, Joe Biden, John Roberts, Howard Dean, Zach Braff, and others. This year’s crop didn’t seem to be as interesting or varied as last year’s, with one exception. I am speaking of Demetri Martin.

My roommate last year told me about Demetri Martin, and we watched some of his stand-up material. The dude is hilarious. His act consists largely of absurd one-liners, often with the accompaniment of music or drawings. And Wikipedia has just informed me that he is 35, which is weird because I would have guessed he was 25. The bowl haircut takes off years! (He’s also been a correspondent on The Daily Show, and he has a new show called Important Things with Demetri Martin.)

When I found out that he was coming to campus on Tuesday night, I knew I had to go. And when I found out that my new friend whose name you haven’t missed because I haven’t mentioned it yet was going, I knew I had to go with her. So we met beforehand for dinner at the student union. She chose Taco Bell. Good choice. (What’s the record for Wikipedia links in a World of Stuff blog post? I think it’s going to be broken.)

Then we made our way to the basketball arena, where Mr. Martin was due to perform. Opening for him was a 2002 grad who was also associated with The Daily Show; he did a more conventional (but still very funny) stand-up act. Then, it was Demetri Martin’s turn. He started by making some Martinesque observations about the decor. There was the obligatory drawing segment as well as the piano segment. He also made random remarks toward the camera operators, the sign language interpreter, and audience members. The Independent Florida Alligator captured some great nuggets for your reading pleasure.

He did a long show, and it kept going even when I thought it was about to end. Toward the actual end, as he was providing a light guitar accompaniment for his jokes, he delved into some of his classics. People called out for their favorites, and he obliged. Meanwhile, someone unwittingly added to the humor by knocking down the curtains and fake plants that flanked the stage. I was in stitches for the whole two hours; I can’t remember ever laughing that much. My new friend seemed to have a good time too.

After the show, I accompanied her to her car, which was parked near my dorm. We were going to meet again tonight, but she had to go home for the weekend, so hopefully I’ll see her again soon.

And now, the links.

The text of Wikipedia is made available under the GNU Free Documentation License because that was the only major free license in existence when Wikipedia was launched in 2001. Since then, Creative Commons licenses have become favorites in the free culture movement, leaving incompatibly-licensed Wikipedia out of the loop. Now, the greater Wikipedia community is voting on the possibility of dual-licensing Wikipedia and its sister projects under the GFDL and the CC Attribution-ShareAlike license, which is identical in principle but more practical for a wiki to use. If you had at least 25 edits on an account for any Wikimedia project prior to March 15, you can vote! Find out more at the CC blog. (Also, vote yes!)

The so-called EURion constellation is a pattern of circles that has appeared on banknotes around the world in recent years, apparently to help computer programs determine whether an image is of a banknote or not.

Finally, Thomas the Tank Engine Rap Remixes. Some of them are pretty good. (Via The Presurfer)

10

I alluded to this last time, but it deserves its own post.

Two weeks ago, I responded to a personal ad. I do this sometimes. This time, though, it was different. We started e-mailing each other, but the conversation didn’t peter out. We made the jump to instant messaging and Facebook. Today, we met.

It was a beautiful day: bright and sunny but not too hot. I waited at the corner of University and 13th, where a traveler and her dog were already sitting. The dog was friendly. Like a typical dog, it apparently liked to chew on things. It went to town on my hand. But I like dogs, so it was okay.

Just then, she appeared. My hand wet with dog slobber, we started talking. I was worried that it would be awkward at first, but it was just like we knew each other well. We headed toward the restaurant we had planned to go to only to find that it was closed for Easter. We went further down the road and found just about every place closed. This was something we hadn’t planned for.

Alas, Ben & Jerry’s was open. No one was there except for one employee. I washed my hands and we had delicious sundaes that we almost finished while talking about stuff.

Then we decided to walk through campus, which was basically empty because it was Sunday and Easter to boot. We made it to the Plaza of the Americas, where we sat at a bench under a tree and talked more—for at least an hour, I believe—until she had to go.

We will meet again.

And now, well, how about Ask Jordon?

Mr. Hi: How did the word “Hi” originate. Hello? I get the “H” but why “i”?

I was actually wondering this recently too. Wiktionary, which has recently become my online dictionary of choice, says of the etymology: “American English (first recorded reference is to speech of a Kansas Indian), originally to attract attention, probably a variant of Middle English hy, hey (circa 1475) also an exclamation to call attention.” So apparently it comes from Native Americans, who picked it up from English? There’s no citation.

Because of the economy and all that dumb stuff, we’ve been hearing a lot about large amounts of money. In particular, the trillion is having its day. But what does a trillion dollars actually look like? Find out! (And should it be “What do a trillion dollars…”? I think they both sound funny, but it seems like the former is correct!)

This is quickly becoming a popular site for people to share embarrassing, yet humorous, real-life stories in brief: FMyLife.

Given the product placement, this might just be a PR stunt disguised as an amateur project, but it’s still cool. Basically, some folks put together an unbelievably fast computer. Watch for when they drop a DVD case from the window and start ripping the DVD at the same time. The rip wins. (Via J-Walk Blog)

Getting to know you

On my night out with my friend Evan last weekend, we talked about a lot of things. One topic was dating.

Wait, don’t go yet! Listen.

I know I haven’t had much luck with dating. Yes, I’ve complained about it a lot, more times than I’d care to link to here. And I realize that there’s nothing wrong with me per se, that I just don’t know quite how to go about it. I’m learning. I’m OK.

Picture the scene, if you will: we’re in Evan’s SUV, cruising down rural US 301 on a Saturday night at 1:00 in the morning. We’re full from eating appetizers at a restaurant in Jacksonville, and we’re listening to tunes on the radio. Evan tells me that I should take female friends on casual dates. It’s something I’ve heard before, and I tell him I don’t see the point. He says that if nothing else, it would be fun, just like what we’ve done tonight has been fun.

Fun. It was like an epic slap in the face. It was like a light shining into my head.

We were having fun, weren’t we? Of course we were. Hanging out with your friends is fun. Hanging out with friends of your preferred sex(es)/gender(s) might or might not lead to romance, but it’s always fun because they’re your friends. I guess I like to try things, right? (Right.) Why don’t I try spending time with people I don’t usually spend time alone with? I’d get to know them better, have a good time, and maybe get to know myself a little better too. Evan encouraged me to give it a shot.

The next day, I was sitting at my desk. Annoyed by the loud music coming from somewhere, I went out behind the building. There’s a small creek with a wooden bridge going over it. I stopped at the bridge for a few minutes to watch the water trickle along and to reflect on things. On the other side of the bridge is a parking garage. I crossed over to the parking garage and climbed the stairs until I was on the top story, which I had never been to before. I walked around a bit. It was in the open air, so I could see all the landmarks on campus. I walked around the perimeter until I reached a corner. It was windy, so I sat along the wall. I dialed.

I walked back to the stairs, down each flight, and back across the bridge. I returned to my room. All the while, I could practically feel Joseph Campbell lurking over my shoulder. I had followed my bliss.

She wasn’t feeling so great and didn’t end up feeling any better, so we didn’t see each other, but the point was that I did it and I could do it again. In fact, I did it the next day. She already had plans for the weekend, but the point remains valid. Who doesn’t like spending time with friends, anyway? That’s why they’re friends.

Incidentally, at least one of the aforementioned girls will probably read this. I hope that, having done so, they’d understand where I’m coming from here. I’m not trying to be a jerk or a player or anything I’m not. I’m trying to have fun and get to know people better. I want to hang out with them because I like them. It’s a compliment.

And speaking of girls and all this sort of stuff, I’ve just met someone who is interesting and nice and cool and who actually probably feels the way I do, which is pretty awesome. But I’ll save that for another post.

I love the Internet because it makes all kinds of crazy data mining possible. Virgil Griffith and a friend scoured Facebook to find the favorite books and music of 1,352 college and university networks. They also found the average standardized test scores of incoming students to those schools. The result: graphs of test scores vs. favorite books and musical acts. To put it more bluntly, it’s Musicthatmakesyoudumb and Booksthatmakeyoudumb. (Incidentally, my local community college was ranked 1,344 by test scores. My university fared much better, coming in at number 126.)

In English, we say “It’s Greek to me” if we don’t understand something. Speakers of many other languages refer to nonsense as Chinese, and there are other interesting trends as well. I can vouch that Esperanto speakers call nonsense Volapük, but I wonder why no one says “It’s English to me.” I bet English sounds really funky to someone who doesn’t speak it. (Via waxy.org)

Here’s a time-lapse video taken from the window of an airplane at night. Pretty surreal, indeed. (Via The Presurfer)

A minor problem

Last semester, I found out that I had to take 15 credit-hours’ worth of “interdisciplinary electives,” with two options: “all courses must be at the 3000 level or above in the same area (advisor approval required)” or “all credits must be applied toward an official … minor.” Well, I know what that means. I’m taking up a minor. In my studies, I mean. You know.

I have thought about it a little bit, and I’ve decided to minor in business. It seems pretty interesting and not too incredibly difficult. (I think business is stereotypically considered an easy major and a backup for pre-law students who are failing their pre-law classes.) With a business minor, I’ll be taking such classes as microeconomics, accounting, marketing, and other stuff. Five classes, five semesters remaining: it just works out well.

Actually, the minor offers a choice between microeconomics and macroeconomics, but I’ve already decided which class I want to take. For micro, the lectures are taped and posted online, so you don’t actually have to go to class. I overheard my roommate watching many a micro lecture last year, and I have to say… they were funny. The professor makes his lectures entertaining, mainly by engaging in a neverending mock feud with the unseen videographer, whom he simply calls the Director.

But one thing that’s even better than dumb Director jokes is the schedule I picked out for myself for the fall semester. I usually don’t look forward to picking out future class schedules because it’s often too hard to find out what your best possible schedule might be. But recently, I found out about a site called Coursetopia that makes picking the perfect schedule pretty easy. You just tell it what classes you want to take, and it presents you with every possible schedule. You can also fine-tune the results, of course. And it’s all done with AJAX-y magic that can remind you how slow your browser is at handling JavaScript.

Coursetopia saved me a lot of time that I otherwise would have spent making lots of spreadsheets. It currently only has class schedules for UF, FSU, and Rutgers, so if you go to one of those schools, check it out. The service is free, and you don’t have to register unless you want to save your results for later.

Anyway, my cool schedule. I’ll have no classes on Tuesdays or Thursdays. On other days, my first class starts at 9:35 and my last one ends at 2:45 (3:50 on Mondays). Not bad. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my two free periods in a row, though, since I’ll be living off campus. I could probably go back to my apartment between classes, but I don’t know if it would be worth the bus trips. I’ll have to ask my apartment-dwelling friends how they’ve tackled this question. Hey, apartment-dwelling friends, how have you tackled this question?

In the meantime, I’ll have to get the signatures of the deans of the College of Engineering and the College of Business Administration to get this minor approved. Hopefully it won’t be as much of a hassle as changing my major seemed to be.

For those who thought that we already know everything about our past, this will come as a big surprise: the discovery of mysterious stones in Turkey in 1994 has changed the way we think about human history. (Via The Presurfer)

Apparently, it’s common for rock drummers these days to keep a consistent beat by drumming along to a click track. Some guy analyzed the time between beats in various songs to see which drummers used a click track. (Via waxy.org)

And finally, a photo gallery of crappy balloon animals. (Via The Presurfer)

From Hogtown to Cowford

On Thursday, Get Carded held its third annual Lifeapalooza concert at the Orange and Brew, a coffeehouse on campus. It was similar to last year’s, which is to say that a lot of people signed up to be organ donors. 52, in fact.

This year, rather than keeping track of how many people were entering the building, I mainly concerned myself with talking about organ donation to people as they made their way in. Unlike at our general tabling events, the people who weren’t already organ donors were all willing to sign up.

Like last year, we were planning to have the attendees hold green glow sticks and stand in a ribbon shape to make a human green ribbon for organ donation, but that didn’t happen. I think it was because the weather was fickle (it was very windy and it rained for a little while). Still, the turnout was good, and the music was good too. I think everybody had a good time.

I had a pretty boring day on Saturday. Around 8:00 at night, I was just pondering how boring my day had been when my friend Evan called. He wanted to go to Jacksonville in search of mozzarella sticks and live music. He had never been there, and neither had I for any significant amount of time, but I didn’t need much convincing to go along.

After chatting about all kinds of things during the 90-minute drive, we parked downtown and went to the Landing, a place I had heard of. There was a band playing, and we found an American-type restaurant that had mozzarella stars, which were actually kind of triangular. After those and some chicken strips with french fries, we were satisfied. We took a few pictures to remember the trip by and went back to Gainesville.

Also, The World of Stuff is 6 years old today. Happy birthday, TWoS!

Yet another cool list from Wikipedia that will probably be deleted within six months: List of inventors killed by their own inventions.

Apparently, Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer has always been crazy… and bald. See him pitch Windows 1.0.

Radio broadcaster Paul Harvey died recently. He was known to deliver amusing stories that no one else covered… because they were made up. He also put a misleading spin on some of his stories. That’s what a reporter found in 1997 after investigating some of his fishy tales.

A grammatical interlude

Today in one of my classes, we did something I haven’t done since high school: we peer-reviewed each other’s research papers. And no, I’m not talking about fact checking; I mean basic stuff like proofreading. We split into groups of three, and each person proofread the others’ essays and offered comments. I bet I was the only one in the class to use proofreader’s marks, which I’d been taught in sixth or seventh or eighth grade.

But anyway, I’m not a big fan of peer review in classrooms. The process is fundamentally broken; it assumes that each person knows more about writing than someone else, which is just not true. For example: a classmate marked my use of the Latin phrases per se and status quo as clichés and said not to use them because they weakened my argument. De facto just seemed to confuse the hell out of her. Maybe I won’t italicize my Latin phrases in the final draft.

But the biggie came when I saw her scrawling a note in the margin saying not to start a sentence with “because.” What the heck, guys.

Schoolteachers tell schoolchildren not to start a sentence with “because” to prevent them from writing incomplete sentences:

Because I like cookies.

This sentence has no main idea; “Because I like cookies” is a subordinate clause and must have a main clause or whatever it’s called to go with it. (Excuse me; it’s been a while. I hope this doesn’t, ahem, weaken my argument.) Now let’s consider another sentence with the word “because”:

I bought extra milk because I like cookies.

No one can deny that that is a grammatically correct sentence. But if all our sentences looked like that, the world would be a boring place to read stuff, and we’d probably just watch more TV. So what do good writers do? They shake up their sentence structure by reversing clauses!

Because I like cookies, I bought extra milk.

“Oh noes! It starts with ‘because’!” Chill. It’s okay. There’s a whole idea in there, see? There is absolutely nothing wrong with this sentence (except that liking cookies too much might make you fat). It’s just like the last sentence. There’s a main idea (“I bought extra milk”) with a supporting idea (“because I like cookies”) backing it up.

To be fair, my classmate made valid criticisms of my 3 A.M. writing. I can’t really blame her for not realizing her mistake. Not everyone is a grammar whiz, after all.

No, I think the problem ultimately comes down to English teachers. They tell kids not to start sentences with “because,” a sweeping and inappropriate generalization. To make matters worse, they hardly ever seem to “unteach” it later on by saying that starting a sentence with “because” is okay if you do it right. So this “rule” remains in students’ heads, standing as an artificial impediment to their self-expression.

So, English teachers, can you please stop saying that a sentence can never begin with “because”? You’d be doing your students a favor, and the rest of us would really appreciate it too.

(And yes, I realize that I’ve started a sentence with a coordinating conjunction seven times. Oops. Make that eight.)

I thought it was obvious, but there’s a long Wikipedia article about it: the evenness of zero.

The Pac-Man Dossier consists of everything you ever wanted to know about Pac-Man, all on one page. (Via The Presurfer)

The price of a first-class stamp is going up so often that by the time I remember what it is, it’s changed again. So I guess I’m not the only person who had this idea for a simple web site: priceofastamp.com. (Via The Presurfer)