Some things take so long
Sat Feb 21, 2009 23:00 EST (UTC -5)Let's not shy away from the fact that it's Saturday night and I am, as many would say, "juss chillen." I've been getting lost in George Harrison's "Isn't It a Pity" for at least the last three hours. It's mesmerizing.
I'm feeling a little restless. I want to create something monumental. Maybe not worthy of a museum, but monumental for me and the people I know. I want it to be beautiful and moving. I want it to be the truth. But it would have to be oblique.
There are things I desperately want to say to someone, but I can't. Commitments conflict. During the week, I'm digging myself out from under an avalanche of assignments. I'm not as in control of things as you may think. I have to take these classes. I know they suck. I know that more than you do. And during the weekend, everyone is out in public, somewhere, or in private.
I want, but I don't want things. I want feelings and experiences. I want people. I want one person. Maybe a specific person, maybe not. Honestly, I don't know. Now that I know how to find that person, I can't. I used to fall in love all the time. I don't know what happened. Growing up, I guess. And everything that came with it. Oh yeah. I guess it is irony.
I'd feel better if I did something, but it's too cold to do anything outside. I just realized that it's cold during most of my time at school. I hate cold weather. Hate it, hate it. South Florida may be overpopulated and expensive to live in, but it is comfortable.
So I'm glad it's almost March. Then things will start warming up, I guess. Maybe I'll go to a baseball game. The stadium's right there, I think. I hear it all the time these days. I could get some people together and we could do a thing.
But tonight, I think I'll go out into the common room and see if anyone's playing cards. That would be fun for a while.
Isn't it a pity, isn't it a shame.
. 
7 comments
#1 by kevin: Sun Feb 22, 2009 00:51 EST (UTC -5)
:( cheer up buddy! :)
#2 by kristen: Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:53 EST (UTC -5)
you make me want to cry. come over to the apartment sometime and i'll cook you dinner and we can play scattergories or something.
#3 by Laura: Sun Feb 22, 2009 18:16 EST (UTC -5)
Sounds like a mid-life crisis over there-- but you're not allowed to complain about cold when Canadians like me have to dig our cars out of the snow on a daily basis!
Hope you feel better though!
#4 by sean: Sun Feb 22, 2009 23:34 EST (UTC -5)
that really spoke to me man. really deep and powerful stuff. me and my friends have been toying around with the idea of recording a cd, and if you would allow so, i'd love to use excerpts from that to be spoken over like an interlude or something, or maybe adapted into lyrics. If we properly credited you for it and everything however you wish so, would you maybe allow that? i'd promise you royalties too, but i doubt any money will actually be involved lol.
think about it and hit me back!
#5 by Jordon Kalilich: Mon Feb 23, 2009 17:29 EST (UTC -5)
Wait, really? Interesting. We will talk.
#6 by Sarah: Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:04 EST (UTC -5)
It sounds cheesy, but you may check your craigslist for some groups in the area. I've done it before, and even made a "Game Night" group that lasted three months and got me through a blank time in my life.
Other than that, it's unfortunate that you're already busy with school, because extracurricular classes are a great way to meet people with common interests in small groups.
#7 by Jordon Kalilich: Fri Feb 27, 2009 17:41 EST (UTC -5)
I didn't even know there were groups or anything like that on Craigslist. I can't even breathe a word about Craigslist around here without getting the third degree, but groups are a different thing altogether. It's worth at least checking out for sure.