2006: The Year in Review

2006 is almost over. It went by astonishingly fast. I can't even believe it. It makes me feel like I'm getting old. I remember a few years ago -- 2004, I guess -- thinking about future years. 2005 was "next year," so there was a lot to look forward to. In 2007, I would graduate high school. And 2006? Ah, it was just some year in between.

It turns out, though, that 2006 has been a pretty big year for me, as you'll see. I've learned not to take years for granted. They can really change you. Or, rather, you can really change yourself during them. Anyway, it's time for my annual Year in Review -- a sort of "In Case You Missed It" for the whole year. You know, in case you missed... the whole year. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it as much as I've spent time compiling it.

• January 1 - TWoS gets a new layout.
• January 8 - Day trip to Miami.
• January 12 - I come out of the atheist closet.
• January 23 - I'm not a Bloggie finalist!
• January 28 - I take the SAT.
• February 2 - I ask out a girl.
• February 3 - The Festival!
• February 10 - She says no.
• February 20 - I try again.
• February 23 - Kevin takes my sister and me to a Spanish-language music award show.
• February 28 - She says no again.
• March 12-20 - My family temporarily moves out while the tile in the house is redone.
• March 15 - The infamous Boys State interview.
• March 31 - I get to meet Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood.
• April 5 - Mrs. Vazquez, one of my favorite teachers, returns for a visit.
• April 6 - TWoS is three.
• April 26 - I write an article for the Pompano Pulse.
• May 5 - I take the AP European History exam...
• May 6 - ...and a second SAT.
• May 9 - I'm told that I'm in the running for the National Merit Scholarship. (Whatever happened to that, anyway?)
• May 19 - Another drive-in outing with my friend Andrew.
• May 20 - Improbable Mission, a sort of successor to my old band, first meets. (Whatever happened to that, anyway?)
• May 25 - Last day of school!
• May 27-June 4 - Vacation at my aunt's house. Excursions include St. Augustine and Tallahassee. Next, we go to that condo place we always go to. I take lots of pretty pictures.
• June 7 - Another fun trip to Miami.
• June 14 - I get my senior picture taken. Yes, at school, during the summer. Blech.
• June 29 - I go to a Program on Yale. Haha. Yale.
• July 7 - Learner's permit.
• July 8 - My friend Nick and I see Ringo Starr in concert.
• July 11 - Birthday party-type thing.
• July 13 - Birthday-type thing!
• July 14 - I see my friend Reid star in The Pirates of Penzance.
• July 18 - One Day in the Desert: Special Director's Cut released.
• July 27 - Fun times with Sean and Mike on Lake Ida.
• August 6-7 - Volunteer work.
• August 9 - Night out with the Five and Mrs. Vazquez.
• August 11 - I've got Gaim.
• August 14 - Last first day of school.
• August 24-27 - Beowulf: The Movie shot (and hastily edited in time for its "premiere" in English class on August 28).
• August 26 - I agree to star in a youth group production of The Year Without a Santa Claus. Rehearsals begin shortly thereafter, and they continue for months and months and months.
• August 29 - Natasha introduces herself, and we remain in contact.
• August 29 - I get my old job offered back to me.
• September 1-3 - My family visits my aunt again so we can take a tour of UF.
• September 8 - My first day back on the job.
• September 16 - I take the ACT.
• October 2-5 - My last homecoming week...
• October 6 - ...and the last homecoming game.
• October 7 - Not to mention my last homecoming dance (and the only one I went to).
• October 11 - I talk to Natasha on the phone for the first time.
• October 20 - I see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D. Yep, still awesome.
• November 4 - I attend a political rally at which Bill Clinton makes a speech. I also take lots of pictures.
• November 23 - I'm sick on Thanksgiving (and before, and after).
• November 24 - Trip to the zoo.
• November 27 - I go on a school field trip to Bodies: The Exhibition.
• December 1 - I see my friends Gilbert and Justin in our school play.
• December 8 - We perform a dress rehearsal of The Year Without a Santa Claus for a small group of small kids.
• December 8 - I get accepted to UF, one of the two colleges I applied to.
• December 9 - Most of Beowulf 2 shot.
• December 17 - The day of the show.
• December 25 - Christmas. Among the loot: my first cell phone. Don't laugh.
• December 30 - For the first time, Jordon Asks YOU!!

The BBC presents 100 Things We Didn't Know Last Year. Some of them you probably did know, but others are new discoveries of the year.

And here are, according to someone, the Top Ten Astronomy Images of 2006. They're pretty spectacular.

See you in 2007!

One year ago: "It hardly seems like it had a chance to breathe, and now it's on its way out the door."
Two years ago: "It went by faster, though."
Three years ago: "The year's gone by faster than... something that's fast."

New Year's Eve Eve

You know what's great about spending a lot of time at home for winter vacation? That's right: watching movies. Especially when you and your sister have Blockbuster gift cards and coupons to use. And then there's the library. Yes, it turns out that my local library has an extensive collection of DVDs (more extensive than they used to have, anyway), and you can borrow as many as you want for free. Consequently, the place has gone crazy with movies. I think we've got a total of 15 borrowed or rented right now. I don't know when they have to go back.

Anyway, people are always telling me to see this movie or that movie, and since I don't watch as many movies as they do, I keep track of which ones they tell me to see. I use this site that I've gone on a lot about before called Movietally, and it's pretty handy for keeping track of movies that I've seen, movies that I want to see, and movies the site thinks I should see. This is the first time I've used its recommendations, so I had my sister comb through the recommendation list and name some of the movies she thought I might like. I haven't seen enough of the movies I've rented to know whether the system works or not, but it's interesting to try.

Although I've gone on a temporary escape from school, trying to escape my future of going to college appears futile. The other day, I got a bunch of college-related things out of the way, particularly, applying to UF's Honors Program (what's the catch? what's the catch?) and signing up for housing at said university. It's kind of weird that I'm planning my future this far in advance. I mean, the things I do right now will affect me years and years into the future. But I guess that's true for most, if not all, decisions.

I'm going to try something new here. Ask Jordon has been very slow lately, but I've come up with a way to spice things up. So, I introduce Jordon Asks YOU!!. Every Saturday (maybe), I'll ask a question for you to answer in the comments. Does it sound cheesy? Maybe, but I think it'll be a hit. I did a similar thing on the Where's George? forums every day for several years, and, well, I guess it was popular.

This is your chance to speak out! So let's begin:

Jordon Asks YOU!!: What are your plans for New Year's Eve?

As for me, I think I'm going to go to my grandmother's house. Not too exciting, but I guess I'll manage somehow. Maybe I can talk to my friends on my shiny new cell phone.

PlateWire is "a public repository and electronic forum of drivers by drivers" that uses license plate numbers as IDs. "How Am I Driving?" isn't just for trucks anymore.

Here's an interesting Newsweek article about how Jesus came to be portrayed as white even though he obviously wouldn't have been in real life.

One year ago: "Maybe I could run away to Afghanistan."
Two years ago: "So tonight my sister and I pitched the idea to our parents. I think we caught them in the wrong mood. They laughed it off."
Three years ago: "Thanks to 'all' the 'great many people' who 'racked their brains' to 'help us out.'"

Too much time on my hands

Here we are in the midst of winter break. What's there to do? Not a whole lot -- in the way of schoolwork, that is. I have no homework over the break, and it's amazing. Plus, I don't have work till next week, which is even more amazing (I only go to work one day a week, but give me a break here.) It's nice to have time to hang out with friends and, of course, blog. But a lot of it is about the relaxation: doing nothing in particular. Everybody needs at least a little relaxation now and then, and it's about time I've had mine.

I've also been spending my time playing with my new cell phone: adding contacts, The other day, I sent out an e-mail to my friends:

I was kidding (sort of). I've only gotten one reply, from Luke: "That's perhaps the most disappointing thing from you that I've ever read, Mr MySpace." So what if I have a cell phone and use MySpace? Why is that bad? Social networking sites such as MySpace can, when used properly, be useful. My MySpace doesn't have an animated star or background blaring music that starts automatically. Likewise, a cell phone is a useful tool, as I've found when my ride home from school doesn't show up. I don't think I'll be able to text message, go on the Internet, or make international calls without paying tons and tons of money, but that's not really the point. The point is that I keep in touch with people, especially when they need to talk to me or know where I am. And that's what having a cell phone is all about.

A few months ago, I mentioned having learned the Doomsday Algorithm for finding the day of the week based on a given date. It turns out that it's really simple. I've been trying it out since then, and I'm getting pretty good, if I do say so myself. Yes, it's a really nerdy thing, but the idea of finding the day of the week for any date really captured my imagination when I first heard about it as a little kid, and previous, futile attempts to learn a more complicated algorithm only made my desire stronger. So when I found out about the Doomsday method, I thought it was pretty cool. How is it useful? Well, it isn't, really, but maybe it'll save my life someday. I don't know.

Anyway, ever since I first read about the algorithm, I've been working on a page to describe it in a better way. I took a break from working on it for about two months, and recently, I continued from where I had left off. Now the page is finished, and I think it serves as a good all-around guide to the Doomsday Algorithm. I didn't want to put "Doomsday" in the title, though, because it's potentially confusing, and I know I'd get a lot of hits from people looking for apocalyptic material. I probably still will, but not as much as I would have. Anyway, without further ado, here is Finding the Day of the Week.

You can estimate pi by throwing frozen hot dogs. I think I know how to spice up a lame party now.

From the creators of BugMeNot comes RetailMeNot. Although the name doesn't make sense, it's a repository of user-submitted promotional codes for online stores. Try it out the next time you buy things online, and maybe there'll be some coupon codes you can use to save money.

For those of you keeping score at home, this is post #762.

Radio

The other day, I was bored and had nothing to do. So I decided to go along with my grandmother, mom, and sister to the movies to see Charlotte's Web. None of us are little kids, but they just wanted to see it because they thought it would be "cute." I wanted to go out mainly so that people could call me on my cell phone. Nobody's actually called me yet who's not myself or my immediate family. I got into the movie, though, after avoiding a little girl who decided to provide a running commentary on the film to her ever-so-patient mother. I did get into the movie a bit. I had never read the book, but I saw the cartoon at least a few times when I was little, and so I had forgotten the ending.

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Charlotte dies!

Spoilers end here.

Another amusing thing about the movie was that I drew a connection between Charlotte and my sister: they both throw big words into everyday conversation and expect you to know what they mean.

After that, it was time to go to the mall. Another reason I wanted to get out for the afternoon was to go to some store and buy an accessory for my new cell phone. Turns out it serves as an FM radio if you plug in the right earphone(s). I was pretty sure I would have to buy a nonstandard set -- I tried plugging in my own just to make sure, and they didn't fit. So, after having to hang around in the department store while the women and girls were scavenging through the bargain racks, I noticed that there was a Cingular store in the mall. The guy there said that they didn't have any of the headphones I needed, and he suggested going to Radio Shack. So we left the mall, and across the street, I saw another Cingular store. (Must have been a different franchise if the guy at the mall didn't acknowledge its existence.)

This store was bigger, so it looked more promising. A sales clerk there asked what I needed and went in the back to go get it. So I bought it. But I just wanted to make sure that the headphones worked because I had a bad feeling about it. When we got into the car, I opened the package and tried it out. Now that I had plugged the headphone into my cell phone, I could actually tune the radio. I even managed to get some stations -- but here was the rub. I said headphone. There was only one earpiece. That's fine for making calls, but what about listening to the radio? You can't hear a whole song with one ear, especially on a band that can broadcast in stereo. So I went back and asked for my money back. The guy said I could only make an exchange, but I didn't need to buy anything else. Luckily, my mom needed a cell phone case or something, so she bought that.

Afterward, my dad said that buying cell phone accessories at a store would be a mistake. Apparently they charge a lot less if you buy them right from the company online. So I looked to see what Nokia had for my phone in the way of headphones. It turns out that the only headphones they have with two earbuds are dual mono rather than stereo, and that's unacceptable. They were also pretty expensive. So I changed my mind about getting headphones for my cell phone.

Why would I need them anyway? I just wouldn't. Sure, I'd always have my cell phone with me, but when or why would I bother to bring headphones? It's just not something I'd do. I'd be more likely to use the alarm clock feature. Now that's a useful one that doesn't need any accessories.

For those who think that my 35 Firefox extensions are too many, consider this: 200 Firefox Extensions Installed at One Time. Startup time: 6 minutes. It seemed to hold up pretty well, though. My setup fares much better.

Is it possible to divide by zero? Most of us would say no, but some guy says yes, it is, and he's given the solution to the problem a special name: nullity. It makes no sense to me, and I think he's wrong.

One year ago: "(Imagine eggs or something.)"
Two years ago: "I'll keep you posted; I can tell you're on the edge of your seats."
Three years ago: "Multiply that by thousands of hits from a stubborn bot and that spells trouble."

From Florida with love

Though the Christmas rush is through, I haven't talked much about the gifts I gave Natasha for Christmas. A few months ago, she mentioned that she wanted a snowflake charm to wear on a necklace, so I made a mental note of it (and a bookmark). It would be simple to get, right? Wrong. When Christmastime came, I looked up and down for one. I did find a few, but they were too flashy or cheap, and I knew she wouldn't want anything like that. I found her mom on MySpace and messaged her to get their address. It was then that Natasha's mom suggested that I get her a Florida souvenir shirt. I thought that was a good idea as well.

I searched up and down for a snowflake necklace. They're hard to find, even (or especially?) during the Christmas season. One day, I was at Wal-Mart getting a shirt, when I noticed that they had a jewelry counter. And there I saw a small, 14-karat gold snowflake. So I plunked down the bucks for it, got a box, and had my dad go to the post office and send it away. Natasha later said that she had gotten it, but that her mom wouldn't let her open it till Christmas. On Christmas, she sent me some pictures.

Natasha sent me a package as well, but it hasn't arrived yet. I've been looking forward to it eagerly. I think she got me a shirt also, but I want it to remain a surprise, whatever it is.

I wonder where exactly we stand -- I did give her jewelry, after all. It's hard to define the sort of relationship we have. I like her. She likes me.^[1] And she's more like me than any other girl I've been interested in. I think that if we lived near each other, we'd be going out. But all I can really do is talk to her, and that's nice in a way. When I can just talk to her, I can say what I want and do as I feel. But what do I call her? She's more than a friend to me, but what is she? Could I be so bold as to call her my girlfriend? Is that term appropriate? What would it entail? Am I asking too many questions? It's all confusing but exciting at the same time. I hope I can find some answers soon enough.

Wired News presents the 2006 Foot-in-Mouth Awards, recognizing "the lamest quotes from or about the world of technology during this eventful year." Of course, George W. Bush's mention of using "the Google" and Sen. Ted Stevens's infamous "series of tubes" take top prizes, but there are some lesser known gems from the past year as well. For example, Larry King confused by the Internet: "What do you do? Punch little buttons and things?"

Here's a pretty good idea for a blog: Joe Mathlete Explains Today's Marmaduke. Helps with figuring out those perplexing cartoons.

One year ago: "I guess only old people go to the movies on a Monday night."
Three years ago: "Still, there's nothing like waking up in the morning to find an uncut sheet of money greeting you on the wall."

Today is Christmas

Today is Christmas. Yes, indeed. This is the second Christmas since I cast off religion and the second since I told anyone that I had. Almost a year later, it remains kind of a sore subject, although my parents have been good about letting me think for myself and do what I think is right. It could be much worse, and I'm glad it's not.

But since it's Christmastime, I've thought that I would expected to go to church on Christmas Eve just this one. As it turned out, I got multiple requests to go to church and make everyone else happy. I had anticipated it, and so I gave it some thought. Should I compromise my principles or make the family happy? I hardly see how tagging along in church in a semi-participatory manner compromised my principles in any way, and you don't understand how much my family wanted me to go. So I went, and I stand by my decision to go.

I have mixed feelings about Christmas. It's supposed to be about the birth of Jesus, but that meaning was retroactively applied to non-Christian winter solstice festivals that celebrated the births of other godlike figures. So is it appropriate for non-Christians to celebrate Christmas? I guess not, although it does seem a little odd. However, Christmas seems to be getting more and more secular because people insist on celebrating it in public, and you can really only do that on a broad scale with a secular holiday.

One of the more notable things I got for Christmas was a cell phone. I've never had one before, if you can believe it, so it's kind of embarrassing even to be saying this. But yes, today I entered the mind-twistingly confusing world of cell phones. My parents had asked me if I wanted one, and I said I did because I did. I need to use a cell phone every once in a while, and I always have to borrow someone's. Well, now I have my own -- a Nokia with a Cingular plan -- so I've been figuring out how to use it and stuff. It has some bells and whistles, but like all bells and whistles, they cost extra, so I can't use them (not right now, at least). Still, I set up my voice mail and e-mailed a few people to let them know my number (which I've almost committed to memory). I think this is an important step in my "transition" to the lonely life. Might as well make the change as smooth as possible.

In other loot: I got a Florida Gators shirt, which is good because people can stop asking me just where I'm going to go to college. I also got this year's Beatles compilation album, Love. It's a soundtrack to the Cirque du Soleil show of the same name, and it features remixes and mashups of the Beatles' songs. The songs all sound great, and it's really interesting to hear tidbits of one song dropped perfectly into another. One moment that really got me was listening to "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite!", which is pretty normal until the ending: "...and tonight, Mr. Kite is topping the -- wham! -- bill..." Right then comes the explosive, pounding riff from "I Want You (She's So Heavy)," coupled with Paul's manic vocals from "Helter Skelter." And it ends just like the original version of "I Want You": abruptly. It cuts to the sound of wind blowing. There are many more examples. "Drive My Car/The Word/What You're Doing" is a fantastic example. Not all the tracks are so mashed up, though. Some, like "Help!", are just remixes. It's really worth hearing though because they've thickened the sound on a lot of the songs by doubling some of the tracks, like the piano and chorus on "Hey Jude."

Anyway... ahem. There was a nasty string of bad weather that was supposed to come, and I guess it did, but it weakened before it got here. No tornado warnings for us this Christmas! All in all, it's been a good Christmas, and I'm glad. Oh, I forgot to mention one thing: the past few years I've gotten scratch-off lottery tickets as stocking stuffers. I got a total of 6 this year, and 3 were winners. I gained $35 out of the deal. I don't think I've ever won anything from a scratch-off before, so that was nice.

Stay away from Snow plows (YouTube).

Do you love Microsoft Paint? Who doesn't? Well, I don't, but you might be interested in trying CanvasPaint, an online re-creation of the timeless app. (Minimum requirements: Firefox 1.5, Safari 1.3, or Opera 9. Sorry, IE users. No -- I really feel sorry for you.)

One year ago: "I think one of the shepherds was mugging a camera."
Two years ago: "So, they get to the stable, have kid, etc."
Three years ago: "There was one king, but no one was really sure if he was supposed to be King Herod or one of the three kings or just some random king who happened to be there."

87.5%

It's been a busy week. Final exams were yesterday and today, and now the semester is over. It's winter break, and my senior year is halfway through.

Yesterday I had my exams for Economics and Calculus. The Economics one was really easy because the teacher had given us a list of all the questions on the exam as a study guide. I think I did very well.

I worried more about the Calculus exam. The teacher said it would be structured like an AP exam, and it basically was, except it was only multiple choice. The first part (no calculators allowed) was very easy, but the second part (calculators required) was harder. I think my grade on the exam came down to how I did on a handful of those questions. The good thing is that I have an A in the class, and so that will be my grade for the semester. Since Calculus is a year-long class, the trials and tribulations aren't over yet. But hey: no homework over the break!

Today I had exams in English and Anatomy and Physiology. The English exam was pretty easy, except for a few things. For one thing, some of the questions were about things that we didn't read. Luckily, we were able to use the book because the questions on the exam involved higher-level thinking -- there would be no easy answers in the book. The other thing was that I had to write two essays. I got them done with a few minutes to spare. Almost everyone finished before me. I don't know how they managed to write the essays so fast. Maybe they didn't.

The Anatomy and Physiology exam was the other exam (besides Calculus) that I had been preparing a lot for. The other day, Dr. Singkornrat, the teacher, took the class down to the library because we weren't really doing anything, and she said that she would go over the contents of the exam with anyone who wanted to listen. Only two people bothered, myself being one of them. As a result, I found out exactly what I needed to know for the exam. It turned out to be pretty handy.

Since I have money this Christmas season, I thought it would be nice to buy gifts for my friends. I think I usually buy gifts for a few of my friends, but I decided to broaden the gift-buying experience this year. So today I gave out about nine gifts to my friends (it was supposed to be ten, but Gilbert was MIA). It might have been a mistake to bring two huge bags filled with presents to school, but I didn't want to do it over several days because people might feel left out or something. Since my teachers have hardly been naughty this semester, I decided to give each of them a treat also: a candy cane with a personalized ribbon tied around it. (Eat your heart out, Martha Stewart.) For Mr. Gates, my Calculus teacher, I included a couple of pencils because he always needs those. All of my teachers were grateful to receive their candy canes, even though I think some of them are diabetic or obsessed with watching their weight. Oh well.

In college news: Last week or something, I got accepted to FSU, my second choice. I must say that their acceptance letter and the stuff that came with it were much fancier than the stuff that UF sent -- it even included a fancy certificate of acceptance, and the letter is genuinely signed by the director of admissions (who also actually wrote "Congratulations Jordon!" on the letter). FSU has also been sending me e-mails, whereas UF sent none other than to confirm that they had received my application. But anyway, I've decided that UF is better for me, and that's why I applied under the terms of the Early Decision contract. I'll have to withdraw my application from FSU soon. But it's good to know that I could have been able to go to FSU if I had been rejected by UF.

I'm reminded of a joke that I heard from Kelsey and/or Kristen:

The New Yorker reports on the economic effects of Christmas gifts.

On YouTube: Nixon resignation outtakes!

One year ago: "But I like practically every movie I see, so that's not saying much."
Two years ago: "5 cool points to the PSAT."

The year without a me

Sunday was the day of the play. We put on an adaptation of the animated holiday special The Year Without a Santa Claus. We've been working on it since waaaaaay back in August, so it's pretty weird that it's all over now. We've put in so much work, but the person who's done the most work is Nick, who had the idea for the play last holiday season and adamantly pursued his dream over the following year. And guess who volunteered to play Santa Claus? That's right: me. So I put in a lot of work too. I was at every rehearsal, even when I was sick. I've spent nearly every single week since maybe August or September working on my part.

In the end, I fouled things up pretty grandly. But I would have done it grandlier if it hadn't been for my friend Reid (the actor)'s mom, who provided the whole cast with lots and lots of direction and advice. Overall, it was an enriching experience, I'd say, though having to act while wearing a wig and a fake beard and glasses and a sort of pillow under my shirt is kind of difficult (hence my fouling up a few times). Fortunately, I was hardly recognizable in my costume. In fact, after the show there was a photo op to have your picture taken with Santa, and some parents actually did bring their kids to have their picture taken with me, Santa. (Mrs. Claus might have been next to me, but I couldn't tell because I could only see directly in front of me, what with the long hair and beard and all, and even then, my glasses were pretty dirty.) But as with any realization of a dream, it's nice to see that it all worked out pretty okay. Plus, there was a party afterward, and at the party there was cake.

Would I do it again?

I got home kind of late after the party. Not really late, but later than I'd like to get home on a school night. I was in bed by a reasonable hour, though, and eventually, I fell asleep. But then -- yes, the play was over, but we were going to have another rehearsal. Another rehearsal, after the final show! I, being a good sport, decided to stick it out, even though I really, really, really didn't want to be there. I just thought about how it would all be over in a little while. So I went over my lines... my tired, worn-out, hackneyed lines... and opened one eye, and saw that it was 2:00 in the morning. I closed my eye again. I was onstage, and the cast and crew were all around. I told myself that I had to go, that I couldn't stay around for this anymore, that it was far too late. Then I realized, having just peeked at the clock, that if I ignored them, they would all go away. But I couldn't. And they didn't. I was just going to have to go through the motions one more time, and I didn't want to hurt everyone's feelings. Then I found that when I shut my eyes tighter and drew them up, I could focus on going to sleep. I couldn't get comfortable because I was alternately too hot and too cold, but I finally fell asleep somehow. I woke up very tired in the morning.

No.

The other day I made a Fake Cyrillic Generator to convert entered text into faux Cyrillic text. The whole thing came from a segment that they play on the morning announcements on TV at school. They occasionally play a video clip of some girl walking around the campus with other people pointing and whispering because the selective camera angles make it look (kind of) like she's naked. Then it cuts to a shot of her ID badge in her car, and then we see the words, "Not wearing your ID badge makes you feel naked." I got a good laugh out of seeing that a few times (because the school is telling you what to think), but what really got me was when the segue to introduce the clip went something like "You're supposed to wear your ID badge at all times while on campus. Here's what some students think about that."

Unlike some of the school's media outlets, the morning show is basically the voice of the administration conveyed through the students. (Don't get me started on Monday's Math "Challenge" and Wednesday's Word.) It really does amount to propaganda; Brian and I have shared a laugh over it, and we agree. So one day last week, while I had access to a computer and a printer, I printed

УФЦ FЗЗL ИДKЗD ЩITHФЦT ЧФЦЯ
I.D. БДDGЗ

and put it on Brian's desk. He had a good laugh. Anyway, that inspired me to create a utility to make faux Cyrillic text online. So I spent a few hours working on it. I wanted the user to be able to choose which letters should be replaced (some people might not like all those E's that look like 3's), but when I realized that I didn't know how to do that, I decided to keep it simple. So, like in Soviet Russia, you don't have choices (or, as the case may be, choices don't have YOU!!).

Another arbitrarily selected Top 10: Useless Limbs (and Other Vestigial Organs).

While we're at it, here's another: Worst Internet Acquisitions Ever. I don't remember some of them.

Two years ago: "It took only a few minutes for him to air our conversation and the song, which was a pleasant surprise."

Still Volkswagens

I'm nearing the end of my Economics class (American Government in the first quarter, Economics in the second), and the teacher is having us do a project where we pretend to buy a car and take out a loan. That sort of thing is fine to do in 8th grade (when I actually did the same kind of project in my math class), but not so much in 12th, when many people in the class have actually bought a car for real. Sure, though it has nothing to do with anything we've learned in Economics class, it is useful to learn how loans work, I guess.

So anyway, we get to pick out a car to imaginarily buy. We got to go online during the class today and search the web (or newspaper) for a car. Naturally, I looked for the craziest cars: a Volkswagen Thing, a Peugeot, a De Lorean, and basically the very cheapest cars I could find. But since I still have an affinity for the VW Karmann Ghia after all these years, I decided to go for a $10,000 Ghia convertible. Who cares if it's in Colorado? It's my project.

I, like many people, enjoy the looks of classic cars, but would I be able to handle the maintenance of one? Maybe not. I don't know if it's easier or harder to own an old car than it is to own a new one, but there are certain features in newer cars that are more desirable: better safety features, for example. Oh well. It'll be a while before I buy a car for real.

Last year around this time, my friend Nick said that he wanted to put on a stage production of The Year Without a Santa Claus. In August, he started working on it, and I agreed to play Santa. Since then we've rehearsed pretty much every week, and on Friday, we had what was basically a "glorified dress rehearsal" for some kids at St. Elizabeth School. We arrived early to set up everything -- we had never done the whole show in order without stopping.

There was a pretty small group of kids there, and they came early, while we were still getting made up. I had never worn makeup before, and I was surprised to notice that it didn't really feel like anything (even though I had SO MUCH ON MY FACE). I just couldn't shake the awkward psychological feeling, though. I could never be a trannie. (Luke & Co. are going to have fun with this one. I dare them to make fun of me!)

Anyway, I think the show went well. Of course, some people flubbed their lines, but I think we covered it up well. There weren't any problems changing the sets, from what I understand (I didn't take part in any of it because my costume was so cumbersome that I could hardly see around me, let alone move things.) The kids laughed at some parts, but not as many as I would have liked. Overall, the play was an hour long, but it will be longer next time because there will be an intermission. I hope this performance has served as a learning experience about what to do and what not to do for the final show.

I don't really like arbitrary top tens, but this one's good: The Top Ten Lamest Superheroes of All Time.

Artists and bands in LEGO.

Two years ago: "If you're wondering, it's about dissociate fugue."
Three years ago: "I had my friend Josh sit still (which can be hard for him at times) while I sketched his profile."

I'm in

Friday was the big day when I was supposed to find out whether I got into the University of Florida, which I applied to a few months ago. And I did find out: I got in. My sister did too. We all went out to dinner to celebrate.

While anticipating the outcome, I had suspended my usual self-deprecation, and I was pretty sure that I would be good enough to make it in. When I found out, I was a little surprised, but not much. Instead, I looked at the future and saw it coming into greater focus. I saw myself living among the old brick buildings, skimping on money, trying to juggle schoolwork and a lousy job, visiting my aunt, and walking across the stage for my diploma in 2011. I hadn't been sure, but now I am. That is going to be my future. That will be my life, starting in a few short months.

I don't even know what I want to major in. It doesn't seem like anything's going to come to me anytime soon. I hope I'll get an idea during my first few years in college.

And there's no turning back on this, either. I signed the Early Decision contract, effectively selling my soul to the school. I have to go there unless they change their mind. On the plus side, that means I have an immunity from the tauntings of people who wanted me to apply to Cornell/Yale/NYU/Stanford/etc.

And now, a moment of comic relief:

Yesterday, Justin, Nick, Mark, and I shot most of Beowulf 2: This Time It's Personal. It was exhausting, and I'm not sure if we'll have enough footage, but I think there are ways we can stall for time. For example, some people from school were big fans of Beowulf: The Movie and desperately wanted to be in the sequel. I figure we can do some brief shots of them at school. I plan to edit it next weekend. Most of the footage is on Justin's camera rather than mine, so I'll have to get it from him first.

As I said, it was fun, but exhausting. Nick and Mark had to leave early, so we hurried to shoot their scenes first. And of course, we had to record the vocals for the original song that Justin and I wrote for the movie. In the course of about two hours, Nick and Mark ended up completely wet, Justin lost a hat, and I very nearly lost a knife. I'm afraid that there's something missing, like something to hold the scenes together. It appears that what we did shoot is very rough, but I guess it'll all come together nicely with some more filming and editing and music and stuff. I think I felt the same way about our last video, and that one turned out great. (Watch it, by the way.)

Also yesterday, I realized that my school doesn't have a Wikipedia article. So I spent a few hours toiling away at one, and here it is.

Silent Penultimate Panel Watch documents examples of a comic-strip cliché: the awkwardly silent panel right before the punchline.

True stories told in one sentence.

One year ago: "'I don't want any trouble,' I practice saying to myself."
Two years ago: "The next time I consider going on such a field trip, I'm just going to do it -- or, if I don't, I won't tell anyone I was thinking about it."