Le week-end

Ah, another summer weekend approacheth. What's a do-nothing teenager to do? Besides nothing, I mean? The house is going to be kind of empty. My dad has left to visit my aunt for the weekend, and my sister will be leaving tomorrow for a trip with the church youth group. They're going to the Keys to snorkel. They spent last Sunday having a car wash to raise the money.

But make no mistake, I have plans. At least, I think I do. Three years ago, a guy my dad worked with gave me his amplifier in exchange for a bunch of guitar supplies. I tried out the amp for a while, and when it came time to seal the deal, my dad and I bought the paraphernalia he requested during a sale at the musician's supply store. Spend $100 and get a free 12-string acoustic guitar! So I got an amp and a guitar out of that.

Wait, keep reading. This whole thing is relevant, I promise. After getting my nice new amp, I let Alex, the bassist in our band, borrow my old one because he was renting his (supposedly, anyway), and it was really pitiful. I've only seen him in person a handful of times since then, the last of which was at my birthday dinner last year. The band had one more practice and gig after that (neither of which he could go to), and then we disbanded.

So Alex has still had my amp since then, and I've been meaning to invite him back so we can jam and catch up. Of course, I also want my amp back, especially because three years ago, during the few months when I had both amps, my dad rigged up some cables so that I could plug my guitar into both amps at the same time. Can you say awesome? I know you can!

Not only that, but I heard Alex play the guitar on the phone last year, and he's phenomenal. I still can't believe it. Alex, who always seemed to take to music like a duck takes to fire, is now rippin' it up better than I am (which, truthfully, isn't saying much). This is something that needs to be recorded for the ages -- so it's a good thing I now have a digital recorder.

So that's the plan, man. Alex is going to come over. I've also invited Sean, my good buddy who I haven't jammed with since the band broke up. Actually, maybe I have. I can't remember. But anyway, it's always good to have him, especially now that he has a Gibson SG to show off. He got it a few months ago, and I haven't seen it yet. Funny, he was always the Fender guy and I was the Gibson guy. Well, he's had his trusty Squier Strat for a million years, and I have a Les Paul knockoff and an Epiphone hollow body.

It should be fun. Hopefully they'll both be able to come. If not, I don't know what I'll do. But I do know what I won't do. See, I cleaned my room some more a few days ago. Specifically, I got everything off the floor. You may be wondering why I would put things on the floor in the first place. I got into the habit of doing that because I actually had no other place to put stuff. Since I've thrown away (and recycled) a lot of stuff, that should no longer be a problem.

Here's another idea that I wish I'd had: The Most Famous People on the Internet. Whoever came up with this has already made $161 selling nothing.

And you thought frivolous lawsuits were a recent phenomenon. In 1893, the US Supreme Court had to decide whether a tomato was a fruit or a vegetable for the purposes of taxation. Even though it's technically a fruit, the court ruled that it is legally a vegetable because it is commonly deemed as such.

One year ago: "But why don't the hot chicks go for Esperanto?"
Two years ago: "I don't know what that would make them... super-dee-dupercentenarians, maybe?"