I'm glad this World Cup thing is almost over. I'm probably risking being chastised by readers when I say this -- I can't mention my soccer opinions without getting a verbal lashing from someone -- but I think soccer is boring. Doesn't anyone else think so? I enjoy playing it for fun, but to a spectator, it's a slow, low-scoring game that's void of any excitement. Fans guess what the final score of a game will be. That's how boring it is.

The frivolousness of it all is compounded by the degree to which most of the world goes ga-ga over the sport. And it's all "My country's better than your country." The rabid devotion of fans to their national teams is disgusting. That's how World War I started, by the way. I don't think worldwide sporting events such as the World Cup do anything more than inflame national tensions. Don't believe me? Soccer makes people go crazy.

I'm probably just pushing myself toward further bashing, but I might as well add that I'm glad that Brazil is out of the competition. After the last World Cup (of which I had been blissfully unaware), the Brazilians all went crazy because Brazil's team won. I was in a car at Sample and Dixie, and people were honking their horns, running around, and generally causing a ruckus. I didn't feel safe. I mean, who cares if their team won? What does that prove? It doesn't say anything about them personally. I guess people just want to feel like they're better than everyone else, and that's no good. Try to control yourselves, people of the world. Just wanted to let you know: this soccer thing, it's gone to your heads.

I should probably add that I don't like sports in general. You probably hate me already, so what does it matter?

Yesterday, Independence Day, we had some relatives and relatives' relatives over. We played this game called ladder golf, which is actually fun. After having some all-American fare like corn, some beef thing, and other stuff, we went to see the fireworks show on the beach. It was pretty nice in spite of the fact that a zillion people and Lee Greenwood were there. (Oh, speaking of which, God blessed America yesterday. All those incantations have paid off!) After that, we went back home and burned firework-type things. It was fun.

Top Ten Stock Photography Clichés. You probably know them all too well.

Look Around You is a British show that parodies old educational programs programmes. The first season, which aired in 2002, poked fun at cheesy science films/videos of the 1970s and '80s. Each episode was about 9 minutes long. Now, thanks to the miracle of YouTube, you can watch them all: Maths, Water, Germs, Ghosts, Sulphur, Music, Iron, and The Brain.

One year ago: "I have a good mind to marry into Irving Berlin's family."
Two years ago: "It's not even really funny, but it might claim the title."