A Fourth Serving of Cruel Joke Soup for the Already Gloomy Soul

The girl whom I asked to the dance that got cancelled never called. As I said I'd do, I sent her a message asking if she wanted to do anything next weekend. Here's how she replied (but with lower standards of punctuation, grammar, and spelling):

Besides the obvious point that this is sad for me, it's also really weird because she implies that she knew I liked her all along. I don't know how she knew, but I let it slip at least once before. It's weird to think that while I was thinking to myself, "If only I could ask her out," she might have been thinking, "When is he going to ask me out?" (Not like she wanted me to, of course. She was just trying to be prepared for that eventuality.)

In my reply, I asked how she knew that. I also told her that I don't think I can be "just friends" with her. You're friends with people who you think are good. But when you think someone is too good, you can't settle at that level. And that's where I place her: she's too good to be just a friend, and so she's too good for me. If I've only said one true thing in my life, then that's it.

Not so long ago, I had to let go of Nacole. Now I have to let go of the girl I've had feelings for since I first saw her two and a half years ago. That's why I wouldn't mention her name here until something good happened. I don't want to be remembered as the boy who liked ______ and got turned down when he finally asked her out.

The more cynical of you might be saying, "Oh, so what? He effectively got turned down by two girls. There are others, y'know." Well, for the past two and a half years, they have been the only ones to me. Though it's really weird mentioning both of them in the same sentence like that, it's true. Whom do I have now? No one. And it's not like I'm going to meet anybody anytime soon. The little hope I have left is contained in a few unknowns:

1. Some unknown girl, who, a couple months ago, said I was cute.
2. My ten best matches in that romance questionnaire thing I did a while ago (assuming that any of them are single).

Failing those options, I have no idea where I'll turn my energy. Who will be on my mind? I don't know. I need to love somebody.

It's going to be another bad Valentine's Day.

Hey, speaking of worrying, here's a short article on how to stop worrying. I actually read it. It provides a useful tip that I may use in the future.

Rubik's cube Mona Lisa.

One year ago: "People with weird names shouldn't run for office."
Two years ago: "Unfortunately the hero and heroine don't die at the end, but hey, it's for kids."