The World of Stuff .com

100% Grade A angst (we’ve trimmed the fat)

She hasn’t called. We’ve caught glimpses of each other around school on a couple of occasions this past week, most recently today. I managed to hand-phone and mouth the words “Call me.” Even though people look cool when they do that, I shouldn’t have to do it. Will she say yes or no? It’s been almost a week since I asked her to the dance, which is the day after tomorrow. She must have made up her mind by now. How is she planning on breaking it to me? I don’t know. The phone is silent.

I feel more afraid than infatuated. In a way, I’d be relieved if she turned me down. It seems like I asked her on a whim, and I’m now regretting it. Maybe I don’t like her as much as I thought. Or maybe it’s just because I’m not sure of what she’ll say. Perhaps it’s just that I seem to be standing under the world’s eye. It’s like everyone’s watching me, but I don’t know any of the moves. I might have thought that preserving her anonymity would help out, but some people know who she is. What’s more, I’m subjecting myself to the world’s eye by telling you this right now; I feel like I have to tell someone, though.

I feel very uneasy just thinking about it. Right now my insides seem to be tied in a knot, and I can hardly breathe. Have I done the right thing? Is the foolish thing the right thing? I could say to myself, “Why do I care so much, anyway?” And then I could answer, “Because I care about her.” I guess it’s the only explanation. After all, I want to like her, even though it’s not showing through right now because of the anxiety. Hopefully this nervous feeling can be brushed aside with a simple “Yes.” Whether that answer will come is a different issue.

On to the links.

A site about a flag. Specifically, the Don’t Tread on Me flag.

I think 153 is my new favorite number.