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Victory over sanity

Ah, it’s almost love, and spring is in the air. The bees are chirping, the birds are buzzing. The grass in the flowers sparkles against midnight sun. And Valentine’s Day is coming up.

Yes, I’ve heard vague, murky reports that this holiday of February 14th, sometimes abbreviated down to “V-Day” (not to be confused with V-J Day or V-E Day) is actually getting closer. My first thought was “So early?”, but there are other holidays that take the cake. Even National Geographic has gotten into it for their February issue. They have an interesting article about love that I actually read. It says that brain scans of people in love look a lot like those of people who are mentally ill. There really isn’t much of a difference, as I see it, except more people probably enjoy being in love.

A few weeks ago, my friend Gilbert told me that after school on December 15, he had overheard some girl talking about me, apparently to some other girl. “Smart” and “cute” were the words being used. He didn’t know who she was; the only physical description was that she was short with brown hair. Of course, we can narrow down a few more things: she must know me, and Gilbert must not know her. That still leaves a lot of possibilities. So far, I’ve been able to think of four girls, with a pretty good reason for each, but Gilbert knows all of them (well, he only knows the name of one of them, not her personally).

What’s kind of remarkable is that I’ve never been (knowingly) liked by a girl before. (I know, can you believe it?) It’s an amazing feeling. (Wow, I’m a total loser.) It’s kind of a drag to know that sum grrl thinks your a hott boi, but you have no idea who she is. In fact, that’s probably the most bittersweet thing that could possibly happen to me. What’s worse is that I’ll never be able to find out. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

On Monday, Student Government decided to play matchmaker by giving us some questionnaires (just like last year). The idea is that you’re supposed to fill out details about yourself, and then when they send the questionnaires back wherever they came from, some computer reads the forms to see who at the school is the most compatible with who. And so it’s a Valentine’s Day tie-in. And of course, you have to pay to get your results. Now imagine some girl opening her results to find Jordon Kalilich on the top of her list. She’d probably crawl off to her bathtub and slit her throat. But maybe not if she were a short brunette. Maybe not.

Some reports of Valentine’s-related events are murkier than others. I know, it’s hard to get more unclear than saying that some short brunette said I was cute. But then there are some that are just as unbelievable. For example, I think that the school is having a Valentine’s Day dance, and I’m assuming that it will be on the school grounds because I seem to understand that tickets are ten times less than they usually cost. Now if I could find someone to go with, that would really be something. It really would. I swear. I remember when I asked Nacole out and she said yes. Things ended up differently than I had planned, but during the rush of it all, I felt like the happiest guy in the world. I felt unstoppable. I have never felt better about the world and myself before or since. I mean that. Love really is like insanity, but it’s insanity that people generally like.

Apparently, the Beatles’ producer, George Martin, was knighted in 2004, and so he received his own coat of arms. If you’re reasonably familiar with the Beatles, it’s a work of heraldic brilliance. In fact, 54 cool points to anyone who understands the significance of the zebra.

I generally don’t take online quizzes, but I couldn’t pass up “What is your perfect major?” Here are my results:

That sounds about right, especially the part about math.