Merry Old England!

Tonight my church youth group had a Christmas party — a dance party, to be exact. The theme was “An English Christmas”… in other words, all things having to do with England. My sister was a go-go girl or something (are/were they English?), and I wore a Beatles t-shirt because I didn’t have much else to wear. I was expecting to have a great time filled with merriment and festivities. And good food. I decided to bring my guitar and amplifier in case I felt like entertaining with some Christmas songs I may or may not have known.

We got there on time, and there were a few people there, but hardly any more people came. My sister was about the only one in the crowd whose dress adhered to the theme. I was expecting the decor to be evergreen and bells and ribbons and holly and mistletoe, but it was tons and tons of front-yard stuff. The party was pretty slow. My friends were there, so I hung out with them and ate a bit. The food actually was good. I also met a nice girl. But then she left and they turned on the lights to play Pictionary. That’s when it got boring as hell and so I called for a ride home. You see, Pictionary is not my idea of a good time. About an hour later, my parents arrived. I gave a couple of friends the presents I had bought them and left. I didn’t play my guitar.

This morning I was walking around the living room when I felt a loose tile. I tried to avoid walking on it because it would have to be replaced. So I was sitting around and I heard a sort of cracking noise from beneath the couch. I got away from there as fast as I could. Later, there was some more loud cracking. I got a good look at the floor and noticed that there was something very wrong. I thought that water was going to burst from the ground, like in some bad movie. My sister thought that it was the giant snake from Beetlejuice. (We must watch too many movies.)

Well, apparently some of the tiles on the living room floor decided to separate themselves from the concrete below. It’s hard to explain how it is now. Say you lay a piece of paper flat. Then you pushed the ends together and the middle rose up. That’s what the tiles look like. Two rows of tile are affected, and it looks like there’s a crack in the grout between them — the highest point. It’s the weirdest thing ever. You might expect something like that to happen over the course of many years, but not in, like, a half an hour. Till it gets fixed, we’re taking pains to walk over the unruly tiles. If you don’t watch where you’re going, you can trip over them.

Wired reports: Who’s Afraid of Google? Everyone.

Coolest. Clock. Ever.

Two years ago: “They’re not my tax dollars, anyway… they’re yours.”

Merry Friday!

Today, this last day before winter break, I had to go to school on Friday for the first time in over two years. My school never has classes on Fridays. The purpose of this unusual action was to make up for days lost to Hurricane Wilma in October. About half of the people didn’t show up; some (like my sister) were sick, others had plans, and the rest were too used to having four-day weeks to go. I, however, went to school. The day was really uneventful, but I got a lot of candy.

Over the semester I’ve been working on a project in chemistry class — I might call it a “science project,” but others would call it a “science fair” because you usually display them at a science fair. Anyway, my project was to test how well various salt solutions would conduct electricity. To do this, I put in different metals in the water and hooked them up and stuff to a battery and a meter. My dad and my mom, who are both pretty technical about those sorts of things, had a hard time figuring out how to set it up. I tried multiple times, but it didn’t seem to have much of a charge or whatever. The last time, the metals reacted with the water; it turned blue and yellow and gave off gas until I cut the connection.

My chemistry teacher had me bring in my materials so that she could try the experiment herself. She was pretty sure that I had it wrong, but she wasn’t sure how to fix it either. So she called in another science teacher to help out. With the help of his knowledge (and meter), they actually got it to work. A battery wasn’t necessary at all: just a good meter (apparently my dad’s is bad) and some wires. And he said it would be better to measure amps rather than volts; that helped too. When I had done the experiment, I had to keep stirring the salt into the water. But my teacher had this really cool device that did all the stirring. You put the container onto the device, which has a flat surface, and then you put a little rectangular thing in the container so it rests on the bottom. Then when you turn the machine on, the rectangular thing inside the container spins, and the machine has a knob to control the speed. It’s amazing.

As we put in more salt, the water reached saturation (you could see that there was too much to be dissolved), and the amount of amps dropped off. Also, I used distilled water thinking that it would be pure H₂O. But the other science teacher surprised both me and my teacher by saying that it contains ammonia, so it wasn’t truly pure water. You learn something new every day.

Wikipedia has a list of strange units of measurement. My favorite is their definition for the “helen”: “The amount of beauty that can launch one thousand ships. Usually used as the millihelen, the amount of beauty that can launch one ship.” It would be interesting if there were an objective scale to measure beauty. But of course, it’s in the eye of the beholder.

Not really related, but also interesting: mathematical coincidences.

Merry Zamenhof Day!

I think I’m going to get a new recorder for Christmas. Yes, I may just be moving up from a rather nice stereo cassette recorder to a rather nice digital recorder. I have my eye set on the Fostex MR-8HD. I feel a bit giddy just thinking about it, but of course, the nagging details remain. (Specifically, how can I trim space off the beginning or end of a track? I suppose I could just do it on the computer. But maybe there won’t be enough noise for it to be a problem. Like, maybe the compressor could take care of it. That would be cool. But I doubt it. I’d probably have to do some editing on the computer.) I’ve looked at the PDF of the manual quite a bit, so I can start using it once I get it — if I get it. It’s $400, but I’d be willing to pay some of the price.

On this day in 1859, Dr. L. L. Zamenhof, the initiator of Esperanto, was born. Zamenhof Day (also called Esperanto Book Day) is the most widely celebrated day in the Esperanto world, but it’s generally limited to internal celebrations, like formal dinners held by local Esperanto clubs. But I decided that today would be as good a day as any other to make contact with others by promoting Esperanto a little bit at school. I wore two pins: one that said “Esperanto” and another that said “Salutojn el Usono” (“Greetings from the USA”). For anyone who asked about them (many people tried to pronounce “Salutojn el Usono”), I gave them two flyers — one with general information, and another with a small grammar and vocabulary. I managed to interest about three people, all friends.

This is a bold affirmation: We are in the digits of pi and live forever. If pi is a transcendental number, then the decimal places must continue infinitely. Therefore, the digits of pi contain — somewhere — numerical encodings of everything and everyone that has ever existed or ever will exist anywhere. Furthermore, each could be found an infinite number of times. Essentially, your DNA must be encoded somewhere, along with your thoughts (although these would be difficult to decode if they could even be encoded in the first place), experiences (ditto), the complete works of Shakespeare, and all your MP3s (imagine the record industry going after that!). Of course, this would be the case with any such number, including e, but pi intrigues people.

The house that MS Paint built (Flash animation). I can’t imagine spending a maddeningly long time on such a thing.

One year ago: “Now I’ve nearly been hit by a red ball that people are throwing around the classroom, so I’m out.”

Merry Nothing!

This entry will be posted on a time delay, but here I am in school, doing nothing in a computer lab while many younger students take state standardized tests. That’s kind of communist-sounding, when I think about it. In Soviet Russia, test takes YOU!

Just now, Michelle was reading my last post as I was writing this one. She got to the Dinosaur Comics link, read the latest comic, and said it was funny. I told her that our friends Brian and Luke are really into Dinosaur Comics. She said, “They’re so dorky,” and added in the same breath, “I’m going to read my Harry Potter book now.”

Reading through the old archives, I notice that I used to use emoticons quite a bit. They’re so stupid that they practically make me want to hang myself. Emoticons should be banned. ’03 seems to have been their heyday for me, but I last used one a year ago, not counting quoting other people (or myself). We’re close to an emoticon-free 2005!

Random thought: If text messaging had been introduced in gritty, snowy Dickensian London, I bet they would have used abbreviations like “t” and “l”:

…where “ppd” stands for “pickpocketed.”

Just in time for the holidays, the U.S. Postal Service shows you how to address letters to Santa Claus… and God? Yes, apparently the Post Office will honor mail addressed to God. Forget Santa, I’m going to write to God one of these days. I bet His mail is handled by evangelicals… I’ll probably get a lot of brochures and stuff. But wait… what if God starts sending me junk mail once He gets my address? How can you write back and say “Please stop sending your divine junk mail”? How can you have the audacity to stuff all the catalogs, credit card offers, etc. into a business reply envelope addressed to God? That would be quite a dilemma.

Here’s a form of primitive photography. It involves leaves. I’m not going to bother (I don’t know if I can find the right kind of leaf), but show us pictures if you try this.

Two years ago: “He didn’t have a lot of money, so he would give us these to have fun with.”

Merry Lockdown Drill!

A year ago at school we had an evacuation drill, which came in handy later. Today it was time for a lockdown drill, in case there’s some crazy guy on the loose with a gun ever. Of course, they gave plenty of prior warning (and made sure everyone was informed), so there was nothing to fear. Except losing a few minutes of precious class time. Oh no!

The classroom procedure for a code red (full lockdown) is something like this: cover all windows, lock all doors, turn off all lights, and go off into a corner and hide. If you’re out in the hallway when it happens, you’re supposed to get to the nearest classroom as quickly as possible. If you don’t make it before they lock the door, you’re the bait. After all, they’d prefer to sacrifice only one student instead of having an open door exposing 30.

So my class all had to cram together and… well… bond, I guess. It didn’t take as long as I thought it was going to, but I shouldn’t have expected to take a long time because it wasn’t real. Oh well. There has been a lockdown before (I was in the very same classroom, as it happens), so I guess I’m all the more prepared.

Today was also a testing day for the freshmen and sophomores. That means we cool upperclassmen got to spend those three testing hours doing nothing productive. And we get to do it tomorrow for even longer! My holding room, like last time, is one of the computer labs. I probably won’t post from there — I’ve got to give this post a chance to bask in the spotlight — but I might start writing the next post. Other than that, I don’t really know what I’ll do. I got kind of bored, so I was doing work for a class. Doing nothing can be boring.

A webcomic that features the same panels every day, but with different dialogue: Dinosaur Comics. It’s an example of constrained writing, but it hardly seems constrained at all. In fact, there’s little action going on in the panels in the first place, so it’s not like the dialogue is totally random. I’ve been reading it for about a month now, and I’m hooked.

Creative use of Google Maps #5,947,338: Celebrity Maps.

One year ago: “I’m thinking we could go somewhere with the comedy stuff, though. Maybe do a youth group comedy night.”

Merry Longest Week Ever!

It’s the last week before winter break. Since my school doesn’t have classes on Fridays, that would mean that I have three more days to go. But unfortunately, due to Hurricane Wilma, we have to go to school this Friday to make up a lost day. It will be the first Friday I’ve been to school since May 23, 2003. And that makes this the longest school week I’ve had to suffer through since then. Luckily, today has gone by pretty fast, so hopefully the rest of the week will fly by too.

Mr. Miller, my new European History teacher, has threatened to quit because he doesn’t like the World History classes he has to teach (or, the students don’t like him). The students in those classes want Mrs. Vazquez back, even though that’s not going to happen. But it seems that Mr. Miller could quit if he wanted to. In order to prevent this from happening, Luke has proposed a two-phase plan.

Phase I: Give Mr. Miller cookies. He loves cookies, especially chocolate chip. I’m sure many people are making cookies for the holidays, so this is a perfect chance.
Phase II: There have been several suggestions about what Phase II should be. It appears to be down to either blasting Mr. Miller with positive Michelle-energy, or getting everyone in the class not to talk, because Mr. Miller hates when students talk out of turn. Maybe we could implement both.

The Luke Plan should be implemented as soon as possible. However, after January 13, Mr. Miller will have new World History classes who won’t resent him taking the place of Mrs. Vazquez. So, if we can keep him for at least that long, getting him to stay for the rest of the year should not be as difficult.

Anyway, I just thought my fellow classmates would like to know. And remember: let Mr. Miller stay — keep the dream a reality! Or… keep the reality a dream! Or… keep the reality keeping to be a reality? Whatever.

I’ve decided to put the Christmas layout up for the site. At first I figured I wouldn’t bother, but it shouldn’t be that hard, and it makes things look less boring.

Wikipedia‘s credibility was seriously dented recently when an article about one John Seigenthaler suggested that he was involved in the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Even though the guy who wrote the article apologized, Seigenthaler has launched a vendetta against the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, and look! Now there’s a class-action lawsuit! How many clowns will anonymously write fake articles about themselves to make quick cash?

In protest of Tribune Co. firing editorial cartoonists from some of its major newspapers, the few such cartoonists left in America decided to voice their opinions using their own medium. Have a look at editorial cartoons from today, Black Ink Monday. (Tribune Co. owns the local newspaper; I’m not sure whether they gave our cartoonist the boot, though.)

Two years ago: “No one got a refund, but the cookies tasted pretty good to me.”

Merry Shopping!

I went Christmas shopping yesterday and today. I never like shopping for gifts, but it’s tolerable when I have an idea of what to get someone and then I find the perfect thing. Except there are always the doubts that they have it already or that someone else is going to give it to them… but that’s what receipts are for.

The malls are really crowded, of course, and that’s what I hate also. Whenever I’m in a crowded place like a mall, I have a feeling that some cool guys are going to come up and pick a fight with me. “I don’t want any trouble,” I practice saying to myself. I also have a feeling that everyone is pointing and laughing at how I look, especially when I do something stupid like fumble with my wallet or drop my change. It’s true.

I have most of my shopping done, but I still have a few more gifts to buy. I’ll have to do that tomorrow, or maybe next weekend. It’s going to be a long, busy week.

What do you get when you perform Christmas carols in the style of Jewish music? Oy to the World! Be sure to listen to the title track — it’ll have your toes a-tappin’.

Peter Jackson’s film King Kong is set for general release on December 14. King Kong: Business Monkey is a King-Kong-sized list of promotional tie-ins for the movie.

One year ago: “People annoy me. I never want to be a person.”

Merry Pizza Parties and Death Threats!

Yesterday I got an invitation to the “smarty party” for the students who had gotten straight A grades last quarter. It was held in the cafeteria this afternoon. I was pretty unsettled by the fact that I hardly knew anyone there. I mean, I always have that problem when I go there, but today it seemed particularly bad. I only knew about two people, so I sat with them. I turned down the offer to eat pizza and soda, because I’m watching what I eat. The principal wasn’t there to give his ten-hour-long speech on how good it is to get good grades, so that was good. It was a pretty good way to blow the last hour of the school week.

Here’s the latest chapter in the controversy at St. Elizabeth that started when the pastor fired the school principal over alleged misappropriations of funds. Today I got the word that there was a hit list with kids’ names on it. The Internets haven’t really picked up on this story yet, so I’ll pass on what they said on TV. A station showed film of a one-sided shouting match between two parents and reported something to this effect:

Three weeks ago, a list of students’ names headed with the word “Kill” was found in a seventh-grader’s desk. Some connection was drawn to the whole administrative controversy, probably something to the effect that the boy’s family supported ex-principal Mrs. O’Leary. Some kids say it was actually some list of people he wanted to invite to his birthday party, and that someone other than the boy wrote “Kill” as a joke. Another student found it and gave it to the teacher, who gave it to the principal. Parents believe that every threat should be taken seriously; as such, they are angry that they had to get word about this potential threat from their children while the school remained silent.

I’m getting really tired of this. Well, it’s bothering me more than anything else. This situation could erupt explosively, I guess.

Literally, A Web Log is a web log that tracks abuses of the word “literally.” Do you even know how it’s supposed to be used? You might want to refresh your memory.

Radical Cartography is a site with terrible design and interesting maps. Check out those maps.

John Lennon
October 9, 1940 – December 8, 1980
Imagine

Merry ID Cards!

Yesterday we got ID cards. Yes, we already have ID badges that we have to wear around our necks while we’re at school, but these are apparently just ID cards. I don’t really know what they’re for; they came without any explanation. I’d assume they’re just supposed to be used for getting a student discount at the movies, but the people at the movies accept the ID badges we already have. Maybe there’s some obscure law that says we have to have ID cards. I don’t know.

This ID card is pretty cheap and useless. For one thing, it’s thin — thinner than the ID badge — and bendy. The back is blank. The picture they used, as you can see, is my newest yearbook photo (the ID badges use a photo taken specifically for that purpose). The card displays the homeroom number (which is going to change next semester) and the student ID number. I’d assume “011″ stands for the grade (I’m in 11th grade), but that doesn’t explain the empty hundreds digit. There are also other tiny numbers that don’t seem to serve any purpose.

It reminds me of my first student ID card, from when I was in 6th or 7th grade. Someone (probably the Student Council), in the spirit of allowing all students to get a cheaper ticket at the movies, decided to have ID cards made for everybody. Actually, they made them themselves. You could tell. They were made of heavy paper, or maybe light paper, that had a print of one’s yearbook photo taped to it. The whole thing was laminated. They butchered half the people’s names; I don’t even remember what atrocities they did to mine, but it was so bad that I (and some other people) sent the card back so that they could fix it. I never saw it again.

Astute readers will have noticed that, on my new ID card, the word “Tornadoes” is spelled wrong.

It’s Christmastime, of course, and so it’s time to check out what Snopes has to say about some Christmas-related urban legends:

• “‘Xmas’ is a modern, disrespectful abbreviation of the word ‘Christmas.’” False.
• “Candy canes were created to symbolize Jesus, their shape representing the letter ‘J’ and their colors standing for the purity and blood of Christ.” False.
• “The song ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ was created as a coded reference to important articles of the Christian faith.” False.

I hear the “Twelve Days of Christmas” myth every year. If you’re only going to read one of these articles, make it that last one. I like how they apply logic in addition to facts. You’ll see what I mean if you read it.

Photos of America in color, taken between 1939 and 1943. (See also: an old post with information about color photos taken in Russia between 1909 and 1915.)

One year ago: “Transmit copies of this message to 100 different solar systems.”

Merry Fantasy Currency Designs!

Many countries use paper money as a medium to honor their favorite citizens. Although the US is now in the habit of redesigning its currency reasonably often, the same old faces grace the same notes that they’ve been gracing since the 1920s or ’30s. Let’s pretend that the US Treasury has given you the task of choosing new portraits for US paper money. Here are your guidelines:

• You must choose new Americans to be honored on the $1, $2, $5, $10, $20, $50, and $100 bills.
• The people you choose must not have been Presidents and cannot be anyone else currently featured on US paper money (i.e., Alexander Hamilton and Benjamin Franklin).
• They should be significant to the history or culture of the United States, but this is not required. After all, it’s up to you.
• The people must have been born in the US (or in what is now the US, if they were born before American independence). Do your research; you might be surprised.
• In accordance with the law, they must be dead. Do not kill people to make them eligible.
• You may select more than one person for each bill, as has been done in the past.

I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and here’s what I’ve come up with:

$1: Mark Twain
$2: Thomas Edison
$5: Clara Barton
$10: Martin Luther King, Jr.
$20: Wilbur Wright and Orville Wright
$50: Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II
$100: Meriwether Lewis and William Clark

Whom would you choose? Post a comment and let your voice be heard.

Here’s a gallery of albino animals (lots of images). Actually, that’s just page one of the gallery.

And here are Seven Warning Signs of Bogus Science. Heed #1: “The discoverer pitches the claim directly to the media.”