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Boithday

I’ll be turning 16 on July 13. So will my sister, in fact. We’re twins.

Usually we have a dance party during which there is no dancing. I believe the last four parties were of this sort. So of course, it’s getting old. Besides, each party is always a disaster because they’re so boring. Last year’s was the worst because we got to show people from our new school how boring we were.

I take that back, partially. Some people hate our parties, but others enjoy them.

By this time we would have already planned a party, but we’ve made no plans. My sister thought taking her friends out to dinner would be a superb idea, and I guess it would be good. I went along with that until my sister pointed out to me that I myself could do whatever I want for my birthday.

Now I don’t believe that birthday parties should be grandiose unless they’re your first (zeroth) or last. I don’t really care if it’s your “sweet sixteen” or “sour seventeen” or “fairly good-tasting fifteen.” Eighteenth or twenty-first, maybe. Maybe. Because for those you can celebrate with some consensual and/or mildly intoxicating fun. But don’t give me that “you’re only sixteen once” garbage. You get to be 16 for a whole year. I would now like to point out that I have no convention for spelling or not spelling numbers.

But anyway, I will be turning 16. What should I do?

I’m thinking about inviting my closest friends to dinner or something, like my sister. That is kind of lame, but I can’t think of anything better that I would want to do. I’m trying to think of how other people have celebrated their birthdays. I’ve taken friends to the movies a few times, but those parties were of the cake-and-ice-cream variety. I am indeed the kind of person who enjoys sitting around and not saying anything, but going to the movies isn’t as much of a treat as it was when I was seven or eight.

What does a 16-year-old do for his birthday? Any suggestions? The comment board is open.

Well, speaking of movies, I saw War of the Worlds. I thought it was good. Disaster movies are usually panned for their bad dialogue, but Spielberg, Cruise, et al. frequently let the action speak for itself. And interestingly, no one (so far as I can remember) referred to the aliens as aliens, or in fact anything besides “them.” It goes on for a little long (116 minutes), but that adds to the realism (if you can call an alien movie realistic). The film contains a tremendous amount of action and peril occurring over several days, and when I walked out of the theater, I felt that several days had elapsed.

It’s commonly known that it’s impossible to fold a piece of paper (or anything) more than eight times (though other sources give five, six, or seven). But in 2002, high-school student Britney Gallivan figured out mathematically why it’s so darn hard to fold anything so many times, and proceeded to fold a sheet of gold foil — and then a sheet of paper — twelve times.

So, I bet you’re wondering what this mathematical geniustrix what a piece of paper folded eleven times looks like.

Beauty and brains!