The best of the best

Today was the "Smarty Party" for students who had gotten straight A's. Faithful, dedicated, and very longtime reader(s) will notice that I've been to several before. This one wasn't much different. Pizza, as usual, was the treat (a fact I can't forget as I sit uncomfortably writing this tonight). I had never known what to call this event, but I heard someone(s) call it the "Smarty Party" today, so that's what I'll go with. Anyway, it was business as usual with the principal yammering on about how our school is the best and so we here in this room are the best of the best, and also, when we accept our certificates from the administrators, to shake each one's hand firmly, smile, make eye contact, and say "Thank you" (whew, that's a lot to remember).

To digress, I'll point out how important it is to think before you speak. You'd think that each of the administrators, as you passed them one by one, would all say something along the lines of "Congratulations," but...

"Congratulations [reads certificate]... Jordon," says the principal.
"Thank you," I say firmly, and move along down the line.
"Congratulations," says an assistant principal.
"Thank you."
"Great job," says a guidance counselor.
"Thank you."
"Congratulations."
"Thank you."
"Congratulations."
"Thank you."
"..."
"Thank you."
"Ha ha..."
"Thank you."

Anyway, as it seems from the above-linked posts that I've never failed to mention what soda I got. This time it was a regular Coke. Only the best for the best of the best!

So, earlier today -- one period earlier, to be exact -- we were filing into the classroom for lunch. The rest is kind of a blur, but I'll try here. Someone I didn't recognize came in. He appeared to be running. The teacher pulled him back to get him to stop. A mob seemed to be forming around the classroom door, everyone looking inside. Then, among the mob, there was a face I did have the misfortune to know -- and he was furious as he stormed in. A fight -- dun dun dun -- was a-brewing.

The second kid followed the first around the room aggressively. There was some of that pushing stuff, you know how it is. One of them followed the other down the aisle next to my desk. More pushing. The teacher had pushed the button to contact the office. They then replied over the PA system, and the teacher said that there was a fight going on. But "fight" wasn't the word she used; it was some big word that ended in "-ation." (She thinks she's too professional for those pithy one-syllable words.) By then they knew it was over, but one of them challenged the other to meet after school, and either he or the other said that the other was going to be dead or something like that.

As one of the very large, scary men who would soon congratulate me could be seen in the hallway, the second kid was taken out, followed a little later by the first, who had been sitting in a desk in the back of the room. As the event died down, I could only piece together what the fight was about. Neither of them belonged in the room; they weren't in my class. The first was probably running from the second and tried to hide by going into a familiar classroom. And judging by the dialogue of the fight, the whole thing started over milk. Evidently (and confirmed by eyewitnesses) the first kid had dropped a milk carton down the stairs, which presumably landed on the second one, because I don't see how he could otherwise be so upset. It had just happened, but he didn't seem to be wet, though.

In the best schools, boys and girls, the worst fights are about milk!

Selling forehead ad space on eBay? That's so two months ago. How about something a little less permanent? Potential advertisers, check this one out: Advertise on this guy's mortar board on graduation day! What better way to plug your product or service than on the head of a young man who, at 203 cm and bedecked with all sorts of honorary cords and medals, really will be noticed. I can only say that I wish I had thought of it first. I mean, this guy's just getting out of college; you can imagine how much he needs the money. The starting bid is U.S. $100.

Programming comes home

Since I have enough free space on my hard drive now, I finally installed Microsoft Visual Studio. That means I can continue the work I started in Programming class last semester and keep my programming skills sharp in the meantime.

So, remember when I made a note to myself to make a slot machine game when I got the chance? Come on, it wasn't that long ago. Anyway, this morning I started working on it, and now it's here for you to download. It's pretty pathetic, but it's about the best I could do. The name reflects that, too: CheezySlots. (I intend for future programs to fall in the same area: CheezyCalculator, CheezySpreadsheets, CheezyChess, etc.) You need to have the .NET Framework 1.1 for it to work, so it's for Windows XP only (most likely). But I think that if you update Windows regularly, you'll have the right version of .NET. We'll see, won't we?

Anyway, if you really want to try it out and poke fun, you can download it here.

Last night I went to a really tiny Italian restaurant with my sister and her friends. I thought I'd bring my TV-B-Gone because I figured I'd kick myself if I didn't. It turns out there was a multitude of TVs at the place. It was so small that we had to wait outside for our table because there was no room to wait inside. If you stood by the desk thing, you'd be blocking the doorway.

We were standing outside when I saw, through a window, a TV directly in view. I turned it off. When we got to our seats, I saw another. And as I looked around, I could see seven of them. They were all playing a DVD of scenes of Italy (of course). I managed to get a few of the ones that were closer to me (there was a big screen TV across the room, but the remote couldn't reach it). And when I turned one on that I had previously turned off, the same signal also turned off another TV of the same model. They were a pretty good distance from each other, so I was surprised. But after messing with the TVs, we left with all of them on as they had been.

The food was all right. My dish, Pasta Con Pesto, consisted of ziti with pesto sauce, sun-dried tomatoes, pine nuts, and shrimp. I swear the menu mentioned nothing about shrimp. But I reluctantly ate it anyway. I've never liked the stuff; well, I tried it when I was little and I didn't like it, so I had never tried it since. It doesn't really have much of a taste. Or those particular ones didn't, at least.

When you use your credit card, does anyone check the signature on the receipt with the one on your card? John Hargrove decided to find out by pulling his Credit Card Prank in which he experiments with rather creative signatures.

Testing... and more testing

Last week I took the FCAT Reading and Math tests. Today there was NRT (Norm-Referenced Test) testing. It was brought to you by the people who brought you the FCAT, but the tests were shorter and a bit different. Of course, all this standardized testing has resulted in non-standard scheduling on testing days, which is kind of weird. Is there any end in sight? Not in the immediate future, because next Wednesday and Thursday are mid-term exams. Then it's spring break, so for a week I'll hopefully be able to relax and enjoy the little things I used to do before this semester, like listening to music, playing with my band, computer programming, and -- oh yeah -- blogging.

Today there was something interesting actually happened, though. A bossa nova group playing the songs of Antonio Carlos Jobim (think "The Girl from Ipanema") played in the school auditorium, and several dignitaries were in attendance. The ensemble, headed by Jobim's son (I think), was due to play at a local performing arts center along with an orchestra, but for this rehearsal it was just the lineup of guitars, piano, drums, bass, flute, and (of course) vocals. Since the auditorium only holds half the school, we listened in shifts, and my half got to hear "The Girl from Ipanema," probably the only song anyone was familiar with. It was a good way to get out of class, that's for sure.

Is your name Bob? How about Fred? Or maybe Jim Wilson? If you answered yes to any of these questions, check out those sites. Or even if you didn't, check them out anyway. Who'd have known there was a site for people named Jim Wilson?

One Day in the Desert

Hello, I'm back from the 24-hour fast, and I've got the documentary to prove it. I was able to throw it together faster than I thought I would. The only reason I didn't post it sooner is that I was having problems with my Internet connection.

As for the fast itself, I thought it wouldn't be so great at first, but it ended up being pretty good. There wasn't a lot of free time at the retreat; it was like one big long youth group meeting. The hunger didn't kill me, though. It didn't bother me much at times.

One Day in the Desert: A Documentary (Windows Media Player, ~7.1 MB, 7:36)

[Update -- Sat Jul 22, 2006 17:01 EST (UTC-5): The above link has been dead for a long time. See the new version of the video: One Day in the Desert: Special Director's Cut. You can read about it here.]

For those of you who don't have Windows (or would rather read a book than watch TV), here's a transcript of the film. You're really not missing that much, trust me.

Fasting: The Movie

Tonight I'm going on the Food Fast retreat, during which I will fast for 24 hours. My original idea was to blog and photograph my way through the fast to keep you posted. Then, in my last post, I said I'd write down my thoughts and post them all when I got back. But I have a different plan now: I'm going to film it and make it into a short documentary of sorts. After all, it's not often you starve yourself for a whole 24 hours. And I thought you might enjoy it. I can't say it'll be up soon after the retreat because I have school and such, but it'll be up eventually.

And now, continued from my last post, is the conclusion of Yellow Chicken's "interview" with me, composed entirely of Ask Jordons.

What blogs do you read on a daily basis?

Not counting some that belong to my friends, these are the blogs and other frequently updated sites I check on regularly (though the roster changes now and then):

• Chewbonkers.com
• Google Blog
• graychemist
• GregProops.com
• Grow-a-Brain
• J-Walk Blog
• mcgees.org
• Metafilter
• PostSecret
• The Presurfer
• Raj KAJ's Journal
• Regret the Error
• Slashdot
• Spamusement!
• Spread Firefox
• The Sneeze
• Tricks of the Trade
• Urban Legends Reference Pages: What's New

What do you suppose I do on this boring day? And this is the last question I ask, yes...

Nothing, I guess, if you have nothing better to do than go to The World of Stuff. But thanks for being a loyal reader.

Okay, I lied...I have more questions for you (sorry for spamming your mailbag), which email do you use? I see a theworldofstuff & sppmail

Either address works. The theworldofstuff.com address redirects to my sppmail.zzn.com account, so the latter is the one I actually "use."

With modern technology becoming quieter, some sounds are disappearing: for example, the sound of a telephone slamming or the sound of a needle scraping across a record. Even the sound of chalk on a blackboard is fading out of the picture; my school's new building uses dry erase boards exclusively. But, as the article points out, these sounds are still used today because of the emotions they carry with them.

And with that, I'm out. See you after I starve myself. The retreat ends tomorrow (Saturday) night, but once I get home from the post-retreat cookout, I'll probably be too tired and full to do anything but sleep. So... good night, also.

Fast approaching

From Friday night to Saturday night my church youth group is having a retreat. This isn't your ordinary, run-of-the-mill religious retreat, though. It's a Food Fast retreat for us to "[c]onnect in a personal way to the struggles and faith of our brothers and sisters who live with hunger everyday [sic]." In other words, not eat. For 24 hours. Yes, me! The guy who practically dies if he doesn't eat for 5 hours. So how did this come about?

I think I want to do it just for the bragging rights, and to go for a personal record. To prepare, I'll probably eat until I can't eat any more. I wanted to bring a laptop computer so I could blog the fast in real time, but the most sophisticated electronic device I'm allowed to bring is a camera. So at least the facet of the plan in which I photographically document myself starving for a day can go on. In lieu of a computer, I think I'll bring a pen and paper to jot down my thoughts as my stomach begins to digest itself (there will be juice periodically, but man cannot live on juice alone). When I come back I'll post these entries to see just how hungry I was.

It should be interesting. But the best part is that after the fast, on Saturday night, there will be a barbecue. At the barbecue I'll probably eat until I can't eat any more.

And now an interview composed of Ask Jordons, conducted by one Yellow Chicken.

How do you organize all your site files?

Except for the blog, the files are pretty much organized as you can see in the structure of the site. Images for posts and the 2003-2004 archives are contained in the /archives directory. Images to be seen throughout the site are in the root directory. The main page and the 2005 archives are stitched together using common template files (World of Stuff header, footer, etc.) and several template files that live deep within my WordPress directory.

Can you explain more on the Quesca stuff, and can/how we can use it on our site

I'll let the code do the talking. If you use WordPress 1.5, try this and you'll see almost no comment spam (in fact, I haven't gotten any since I added it last Friday).

First, add this to your /wordpress/wp-content/themes/[name of theme]/comments.php file after the comments textarea:

<p>2 + 2 = <input type="text" name="heyMyNameIsDave" size="1" maxlength="1" />
<span style="font-size: 8.5pt">(Enter the correct answer. This is a simple <a href="/archives/2005/02/23/eureka-quesca/">quesca</a> test to make sure you're a human being and not a spamming robot.)</span></p>

Now go to /wordpress/wp-comments-post.php. Right under these lines:

$comment_author = $_POST['author'];
$comment_author_email = $_POST['email'];
$comment_author_url = $_POST['url'];
$comment_content = $_POST['comment'];

add this line:

$heyMyNameIsDave = $_POST['heyMyNameIsDave'];

And after these lines:

if ( get_settings('require_name_email') && ('' == $comment_author_email || '' == $comment_author) )
die( __('Error: please fill the required fields (name, email).') );

add these:

if ('4' != $heyMyNameIsDave)
die( __('Error: please enter answer the question after the comment field correctly.') );

If you know how the code works, it should be pretty easy to configure it to your liking. All it does is create another field and doesn't post the comment if the field doesn't have the correct value.

The "exciting" "conclusion" of this "interview" will be included in the next post.

Arial or Helvetica? The two fonts are so similar; in fact, they're almost identical. Can you tell the two apart? I had a hard time; I only got 4 of 10 right. If you're wondering, here are the differences between Arial and Helvetica. I very much prefer the latter, but I have Windows and am not keen on having to buy the typeface. (5 cool points to Derren Wilson of I Live on Your Visits, the site that hosts the quiz, for giving his site a name that embodies the energetic spirit of many a blogger, including myself.)