Over the past couple of weeks I've talked a bit about my World History teacher. On this here blog I usually name the characters in my life who wouldn't get me in hot water for naming them. Even though I doubt my History teacher would do that, she's fixing to get herself fired (or something worse), so rather than risk the possibility of incriminating her, I'll call her Mrs. "Griffin." Of course, those of you who go to my school will see through this veil right away, but it's worth a try.

She's a pretty good teacher. When it comes to teaching, I mean. Her lectures are comic gold. I swear she should go into stand-up if this teaching thing doesn't work out (joke). But she gives a ton of work which isn't entirely responsible for but plays a major part in keeping me busy racking my brain or worrying about having to do brain-racking for a great deal of the weekend. I do the notes for the chapter done during the week, leaving time during the weekend for to write the two papers: one about a recent article in a newspaper (the New York Times extremely strongly encouraged) and the other about whatever she decides it should be about, basically. I'm actually kind of glad I got let go from my job before the semester began; having a job on top of all this homework (not to mention rest of my life) would probably push me over the top. But no matter what, school comes first (by a nose, followed by band practice with a close second, and there goes blogging, and here's youth group bringing up the rear).

The other day I got into Mrs. "Griffin"'s class before most of the other people -- not unusual. As I took my seat, which faces her desk across the room, she startled me.

"You!" she said.

Of course I had to say, "Me?"

"You got all of the multiple choice questions right on Monday's test," she said, or something to that effect.

I expressed my disbelief by practicing my vowel sounds and then said, "Really?"

"Yes, you should be in my AP class."

The test (which is every Monday, by the way) had three parts: identifying the countries of Europe (which I had thought I aced, but she made no mention of that), multiple choice questions (about 20th century literature, taken from her lectures rather than anything from the book), and essay questions (about things from the chapter in the book).

Basically I made a bunch of wild guesses and they were all correct. So this is only an island of comfort in the sea of unrelenting homework and really-bad-(for-me) grades. In fact, I wouldn't (and shouldn't) treat it as an indication of anything at all. I don't know what grade I have in her class, but it's probably a C. I'll be lucky if I can pass with a B.

One a lighter note, I'm getting into record thing a bit. Today I bought these singles online:

• The Beach Boys - "Surfer Girl" b/w "Surfin' Safari"
• Kelly Clarkson - "Breakaway"
• Marvin Gaye - "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" b/w "You"
• The Guess Who - "These Eyes" b/w "No Time"
• Hoobastank - "The Reason"
• Mary Hopkin - "Those Were The Days"
• Tommy James and the Shondells - "Crimson and Clover" b/w "Do Something to Me"
• The Lovin' Spoonful - "Do You Believe in Magic" b/w "You Didn't Have to Be So Nice"
• Elvis Presley - "It's Now or Never" b/w "A Mess of Blues"
• ? and the Mysterians - "96 Tears"
• Sly and the Family Stone - "Everyday People" b/w "Sing a Simple Song"
• Three Dog Night - "One" b/w "The Show Must Go On"
• The Vogues - "My Special Angel"
• The Zombies - "Time of the Season" b/w "She's Coming Home"

Yes, I bought vinyl records. To those of you who ask "Why?", I counter with "Why not?" To those of you who ask "Why dont you just get itunes and buy an ipod theyre not that expnesive and get with the 21st centry u stupid dumbface," I say "(1) You seem to have an alarmingly poor grasp of the English language, and (2) leave me alone." I like what I like, and that's that.

This Ask Jordon is brought to you by my meatspace friends, Kevin ("Kagy") and Sean.

kevin (kagy): What do you think of the Ouija board and everything Satanic-related? Since it's on my mind and all.

I wouldn't really go so far as to say that Ouija boards are instruments of the devil, but I pretty much think that they're objects of harmless entertainment and nothing more. With regards to the old commercial ("Are you moving it? I'm not moving it..."), I think everybody was moving it.

sean: since you'll be a junior next year, what colleges are you thinking of applying to?

No idea. I'm only allowed a shot at public colleges within the state (because my parents decided a while ago that I'm going to apply for a particular scholarship).

List of unusual personal names. If you don't like your name, be glad it's not "If-Christ-Had-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned" or "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116."